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Can a father who hasnt been in the kids life EVER, get joint custody? They are 4 and 2, he denies the 2 year old and only seen the 4 year old 3 times, once at the hospital, once when she was 6 months, and once when she was a year and 1/2. Now im married and she knows my husband as dad. Does her biological father stand a chance of getting her? and what about his other child the 2 year old? does she matter?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Jan. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I would think not, but these days who knows anything could happen, I severly doubt he could get joint custody but maybe visitation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • my daughters dad had NOTHING to do with our daughter until she was 2.5 years old...and he only started because i went after him for child support, and then we ended up in court..and YES he did end up wtih joint custody!! pissed me right off!!!! i had a pain in the ass judge who is all about "dads being in kids llives to the fullest" and his way of seeing things, was that, the past is the past..since there was no evidence of abuse or drugs or anything, he has rights to joint custody..and it frickin SUCKED!! contiune...

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:37 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • my daughter now 4.5,,so its been 2 years..and it still sucks having to deal with him..she goes to his house 3 weekends outta 5..and everytime is a stuggle....i remember the first time the judge said he could have my daughter for 8 hours on a saturday, and i burst into tears..and i said can i at least be there? and he said no..and then asked me whyy i was crying..and i was like..YOU are MAKING me send my child off with a complete stranger for 8 HOURS!!! how the hell do you want me to react!! and all he said was "well he IS the father" and im like yaa thats great but shes never even met him how can you say its safe for me to send her away with him ALONE!! continue...

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:38 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i was soooooooo pissed! was court i had no choice..and when that saturday came the first time forme sending her off..O M G !! she was crying, i was crying, i felt so bad for her..she had no idea who it was..anywho..sorry im just saying, that yaa it can happen..if ya need to talk to here for ya!! i got a lot of experiance dealing with that!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:38 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i never had to deal with that. BUt i would hire a good lawyer, and dig up as much dirt as you can, and hopefully the judge will be on your side, espcially since your children have a father figure. Good luck!!!

    Answer by LunarEclipse at 2:57 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • If I were you I would ask him if he is willing to sign over his parental rights. I know that when my son was one I asked his bio father to do this. His bio father never saw him and for a while even deinied he was his son.

    If he has never really been involved then he might be willing to do this. Also if he does this he does not have to pay child support. If you and your DH are happy and can support the kids one your own then I really would try this.

    It would get him out of the picture. If he is not willing then you may have to go to court. I guess it really depends on how demanding he is.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:10 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • There are two forms of joint custody: joint physical custody, and joint legal custody.
    In joint physical custody, actual lodging and care of the child is shared according to a court-ordered custody schedule. The children live with both parents part of the time.
    In joint legal custody, both parents share the ability to have access to educational, health, and other records, and have equal decision-making status where the welfare of the child is concerned. The children live with one parent and the other parent has visitation rights.
    In most states it's joint legal custody. Just because he could be granted joint legal custody doesn't mean he will exercise his visitation rights.

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 8:12 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Just to elaborate a little on prttymstngs post , I have joint legal custody and I have sole physical custody with a parenting plan (im in missouri) Ultimately I have the final decision if he doesn't do as it says, example: he's supposed to let me know 48 hrs in advance of any changes, and by April of each yr for his summer visit schedule. We are to try and agree on everything and if we can't it falls back to the plan. I live by the plan, it's easier for the kids to have a set schedule and when he complains I just tell him to get an attorney and have it modified. We live 2 hours a[part and like I said a set schedule is best for the kids....And remember the court is only going to do whats in the best interests of the children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I have tried asking him to sign over his rights, using the you wont have to pay child support card. All this has come up because I went after child support and he goes to court for that next month. I never wanted child support my husband said its only fair, I tried to tell him it would open a can of worms, but I did, and it did. Also, the bio dad lives 2 states away. does that matter? doesnt that mean he has to come to my state to take me to court? and alexis 06, Im so sorry to hear that story, I cried reading it. I dont understand, maybe having the dad is important, but important enough to tramatize the child?????

    Answer by mystidwilson at 11:32 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Depending on the state...did he sign either child's birth certificates? If not, then he has to prove that he is legally entitiled to see them (aka a paternity test). Also, with him living so far away, I doubt he would get joint physical or legal custody, but would have visitation rights, including making reasonable arrangements for extended visitation (like summers, holidays,etc).

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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