Should the teacher be told? Or is there a double standard?

My dau & 2 other girls were the final 3 in a spelling bee at school today. My dau is white, the other 2 girls are black. When a 4th girl, also black, got eliminated, my dau & the other girls shared hi-5's. The girl who was just eliminated said, "Who'd wanna touch a white girl's hand." My dau was hurt & couldn't understand why she would say such a thing. Of course, the teacher didn't hear it, or chose to ignore it. I know in my heart, if it was my child who had made such a remark, things would be a lot different for her. I want the teacher to know what this girl said so she can be handled. She is just a mean child to most of the students, but this really crossed a line. Your thoughts?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Jan. 31, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)

Former teacher here-If I had heard this-I would have told the teacher-and mention I used to be a teacher and never tolerated that crap.

And yes, I heard plenty of this when I worked in the At Risk elementary schools.

Another thing the kids used to do was pick on my Bilingual kids, making fun of them in English so they wouldn't understand.

Once it got physical with one of my boys-I sat in the vice-principal's office explaining to the Mom in Spanish what had taken place. What an embarrassment!

It still burns me how kids of another race and color CAN Be...

Just so you know-It is JUST as disgusting to me when a white kid does it to a black.

Veronica

Veronica

Answer by VeronicaTex at 8:48 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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double standard.
nothing will change if mention it.

Answer by meooma at 8:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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I would say something. This is how double standards become acceptable because no one wants to say anything.

Answer by JeremysMom at 8:45 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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I would mention it yourself to the teacher, calmly.

Nothing will ever be done about it unless someone DOES speak up.

That was CRUEL and I hope your daughter knows this is NOT any fault of hers.

Veronica

Answer by VeronicaTex at 8:51 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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NOthing will change as along as "double standard" and "nothing will change" is the standard shrug.

Quite frankly, even if race was not mentioned, the comment was rude and uncalled for. Our school is running a year of "Be a buddy not a bully" K through 5. Our Jr. Highs and Sr. Highs have the same sort of program modified for their age groups. At each level they stress that words are just as bad as physical attacks. The "who would want to touch. . . " is wrong. Period. The teacher should be told. The girl should be told that being disappointed does give her the right to be mean. An insult is an insult.

Now, add in the fact that she did not stop at a personal verbal attack. She added color to the conversation. Yes, it is racist. And it's wrong and the idea that it's ok if it's this race vs that but not the other way is tolerated because too many are willing to say "it's a double standard, let it go." It is, but we can't.

Answer by ldmrmom at 11:09 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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I would tell the teacher.. Maybe you could save that one child's life from bullying.

Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:16 AM on Feb. 2, 2012
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of course, there's a double-standard. i'd probably blow-it off, at this point. had i heard it myself, when it happened, i would've checked her.

Answer by dullscissors at 8:36 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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double standard, unfortunately.

Answer by tnm786 at 8:38 PM on Jan. 31, 2012
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It breaks my heart to see that the color of skin is still an issue today. It is SO HARD to break the cycle, but it has to start somewhere. It truly does take a village to raise a child. If no one truly cares for what happens to another and turns a blind eye......it's shameful!

Stand up for your DD. Tell the people in charge what happened. No one should have to experience this no matter if they have the same skin color or not. Bullying is bullying.

Answer by MommyMunch at 2:41 PM on Feb. 10, 2012
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