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how do i get a very stubborn daughter to go to bed at night.

she is 10, but only see's me in the summer, so i have a very difficult time being stern with her. she is very clingy and emotional, and i don't want her to hate me and not want to come back the following summer. she has a little sister that just is wonderful about bedtime, and listens very well. i just don't know what to do, it is to the point were i am almost in tears every night. please help.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • Well, it's summer and she's ten, so I hope you're not expecting her to go to bed at like 8pm... 9:30 or 10pm is probably reasonable for her. Make sure she knows that she has to be in her bed at that time, and start to help her wind down a good hour before bedtime every night. If she fights you, tell her that she has to be in her room with the lights out regardless of whether or not she's going to sleep. She'll eventually see that it's better just to go to sleep. If she stays awake in her room half the night, start waking her up by 7 or 8am every morning. She'll be tired enough to go to bed at the right time the next night.

    Answer by laadeedah at 4:08 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • You are the parent. YOu don't have to reason with your child all the time. If she "hates" you for being a good mom then oh well. We all think that we hate our parents when we are young. I agree that you should not make her go to bed ealy during the summer, but at the same time, you make rules not her. If you let her have her way when she is ten then you are really going to catch hell when she becomes a teenager.

    Answer by Queentdi at 4:38 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • well sounds like to me when you do not have her she is aloud to do what she want's there is no bedtime rules i am guessing the other parent needs to set up a bedtime schedule most important let her know who is boss and she is not!just keep telling her what her bedtime is so to do what she needs to before that time and just tell her or tuck her in at bedtime and be determined keep puttting her in bed she will wear out sonner or later or find activities that will wear her out before bedtime my 2 yr. old goes right to bed at 8 pm.!

    Answer by JAYNE950 at 4:48 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • If you are expecting her to go to bed the same time as the little sister, try giving her one on one for an extra half hour. Ask her when she thinks her bedtime should be. Explain that you need to both be comfortable with the time so, negotiate. It sounds like she is wanting time with you so badly. She likely is more affected by the distance than the younger one who doesn't remember the circumstances the same way.

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I totally understand your frusteration on this.... I have 3 teens and after the tired point they get grouchy.... and makes things even harder... I put my foot down and said all kids r n bedroom at 9pm no matter what... u can read, watch tv, play video games quietly etc. well it has worked but had to remind them over and over at first it is 15 min before 9 etc to give them a warning. so u r not totally making them go to sleep for those that are not tired but you are getting quiet in the house. It is a comprimise and sometimes we don't get it exactly the way we want things..... hope this helps....

    Answer by tabby1catt at 1:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I would just inform her that you are in charge regardless of what she wants, she needs sleep. For this age, wake her up earlier in the am so that she gets tired earlier at night. But don't try to have her in bed by 9... in her mind shes practically a grown up lol.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • is she isn't in bed by 10, she looses............whatever she loves the most, for a period of time.

    Answer by ToldUNo at 3:49 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

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