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Is a child's behavior genetics related?

For the past couple of weeks my step daughter has been in some kind of trouble everyday at school. She is constantly telling lies now. Her mother left her when she was 2 for a life of drugs and her mother had did the same thing to her...a cycle. She is almost 7 and is stubborn and has an idea that she can do what she wants because daddy will just say don't do that again. He does not punish her or makes empty threats...she knows this too. I am with the child more than he is and am basically fulltime care taker of her but he wants me to leave all punishing to him. She spit on a child for no reason and his punishment was No Playing....well when he is home she is running around, watching tv, carrying on as usual....what is she learning from all of this? Is this the start of bad behavior? How can i get him to understand now is the time to put a stop to it?

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hrtbroke40

Asked by hrtbroke40 at 10:27 AM on Jan. 16, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (5)
  • Shew may be his daughter..but if she is in your care most of the time you have to be able to discipline her. If you don't get control soon and completely you won't ever get it. Has this child received psychological help regarding the abandonment? Dad needs a wake up call...and I don't mean by his 7 yr old being suspended or expelled.

    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 10:48 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • In my situation with my step-daughter I treat her as I do my own, which means I punish her as I do my own. I don't think my fiance nor his parent's agree with it but as long as she's in my care she will not act a fool. lol Just my opinion....it's makes everything sooo much easier when your step-child respects you and respect is the major issue with your step-daughter.
    MrsSethRussell

    Answer by MrsSethRussell at 10:48 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I would sit down with your husband and let him know that if that is the way he feels then he needs to get a baby sitter for his daughter when he isnt around. That he will be her primary care giver from now on, that lunches will need to be made, her dinner fixed, baths given, teacher meetings etc. There is no way that I would deal with an attitude like that. As of right now you are the babysitter without pay............nice :(

    If you are legally his wife and the child lives with you and has no relationship with her bio mom..........your it. Shame on your husband for not wanting his daughter to have the benefit of both your love and upbringing. Nope .............. you need to stand your ground on this one.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 12:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Personality is definitly influenced by genetics. However, environment has a huge influence on behavior, as you seem to already know, since you mentioned the lack of discipline from her dad. My one child who is intense, persistent, easily frustrated and has difficulty seeing others' point of view requires a far different style of parenting than the sensitive, gregarious, patient-but-easily-discouraged one!

    All children need consistent limits set by loving caregivers. Talk to your husband about this, and maybe provide him with some parenting books, if he hasn't already read some. I like the Love and Logic method, in which consequences for a child's actions provide them with reasons to discontinue bad behavior, instead of parents just handing down random punishment. This little girl is very fortunate to have a stepmom who cares so much about her healthy development!
    yarnjunkie

    Answer by yarnjunkie at 12:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • The trouble is the parenting here. Speak with your hubby and let him know you would like to discipline her as well but be consistant. Start reading "Have a new kid by Friday" Kevin Leman
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 8:08 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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