Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do?

You're pregnant and the childs father decides to move to one state and you to another. The relationship between the 2 of you is over. When you have the baby the father sees the child once when she is 5 months and does little financially (or in any other way) for her. You file for child support, but drop the case because you get in another relationship and that man tells you to not worry about it. This man bonds quickly and deeply with the baby. You end up marrying that man. Your DH makes you call the babby daddy when the child is about 15 months old to tell him that you are married, prego again and ask wld he like to give up his paternal rights. continued below

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • continued- Baby daddy says neither yes or no. 2-3 years go by and you don't hear from him. You end up contacting him regarding his responsibility and he decides he wants to see her. DD will be 4 in March. DH is now highly pissed. DH wants to divorce you but adopt the dd and pretty much dictate the baby daddys contact with the daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Wait...your husband wants a divorce? Is this because of the issue with the father of your child? Or for other reasons?

    If you are to work things out with your husband and the baby's father is not involved as he should can take him to court and have his rights taken if he isn't paying support. If your husband is a great father and wants to be in her life and be her father in the legal sense-then I don't see why not. My oldest's father lives in a different state...hasn't seen her since she was 18 months old and hasn't talked to her since she was 20 months...she's 5 next month. If for some unseen reason my husband and I get a divorce before he adopts her...I would go through with it still. He is a fantastic father and he loves her. He has been more involved in her life than her biological dad.

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 11:41 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • So he basically wants to divorce you because you didn't do what he said????? Nice guy!!! I don't think I would want him to be my baby daddy!! Be careful of the arrangement you make with him in regards to your bio child together after the divorce. He sounds like a jerk!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Sounds like your hubby loves your daughter more than he loves you or your marriage. That sounds bad but that's what it sounds like. He's the one that pushed to contact the man, wanting him to give up his rights so it's his fault that all of this is happening to start with. He should've left well enough alone (I'd never have dropped the child support thing once I started it because as it is now, your hubby isn't going to be supporting your daughter after all and now no child support order either).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:03 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • If the father wasn't involved then why did you bother to contact him? Your DD could still call hubby daddy and he would still be just that to her without a piece of paper to indicate that as the case. I agree that your DH is the one who opened the can of worms and if he wants to divorce you b/c of the actions of another person then he needs to hit the bricks and perhaps isn't the type of role model you need for your DD. That's JMO.

    Answer by micrespo at 12:25 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i think it's important for children to have a relationship with their real dads only when their real dads are making a true effort and are providing love and support. if he just wants to drop in from time to time that would not be ok with me. i think all along you should of been getting child support but whatever. maybe your ex will not want to if you tell him if you want to see my DD then you will have to pay CS and if he is a loser dad he might drop the subject. as for your husband i say if he is willing to divorce over this then let him. he is bluffing. your daughter is young enough to start having a relationship with the real father and not get hurt by it.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:42 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • at a later age it will be harder and she could really be harmed. when i left my ex i made sure he bonded with his daughter i'm remarried and my new DH accepts the fact that DD has her daddy in her life. this is how it should be. but her dad is great. she has two great dads.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:43 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships

Next question overall (General Parenting)
Help plz!!?