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well crap, ... looking for advice about step parents disagreeing on discipline & etc.

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SH8

Asked by SH8 at 11:39 AM on Jan. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • Just love them as they were your own they will appreciate you later. And if the bm tries anything just kill her with kindness don't ever let her see you sweat.


    Your SO/Dh will love you for it for being the good mom that she wasn't so just do what you would do for your own kids. Be the better person.giving mom gift

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:43 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Sorry, but I really don't feel it's up to step parents to be disciplining anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • My husband is a stepparent to my 17 yr old son. It is a fine line when it comes to any discipline. And I will admit that we don't always agree on how to discipline but it usually works out best when my husband just follows my lead and backs me up. That way at least my son sees that we are on the same page.
    ohheck

    Answer by ohheck at 11:54 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Step parents are parents- it's right in the title! I don't understand people treating their stepkids differently than their own if the children are young when the birth and step parents got together. Now with older kids you have to take more of a friendly role, but with little ones- they learn fast they can walk all over the step and there is nothing they will do about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • A step-parent can reprimand not discipline. I would personally take offence if my ex's gf disciplined my kids.I never gave her that right. I agree she can correct bad behavior by speaking to them , but when it comes to discipline the parents are still there to intervene. parents need to be clear with their kids on what is and isn't acceptable behavior and need to take appropriate measures to insure that behavior.

    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 12:11 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • We don't believe in the whole "step" thing. You are the parents of the house and when it comes to rules and discipline you need to sit down together and decide what you are going to allow and not allow. If both parents have kids then the same rules need to apply to all of them, the most important thing is that you both show a united front. If there is something you don't agree with then you need to discuss it when your alone but while in front of the kids you need to back each other up.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:35 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • This is why many men/women have trouble finding a mate after having children. This goes for any child, including my own...When you step foot into my house you abide by the rules. I will not bend the rules that I set for my own children to cater to another. I am a parent and as an adult I should be respected. If I try to correct your behavior and you continue to illustrate poor judgement then you will go in a corner or to your room or be grounded depending on age appropriateness and the parents who do not respect the stepparents are the ones who give children the ammunition that they need to manipulate the situation and pit one parent against another. Whatever rules you have for your own children (shared or otherwise) should be the same for all of the children...discipline included.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 1:12 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I agree with the poster who said that step-parents should not be disciplining. While children do not tell their parents what to do (i.e. your daughter should not be forbidding you to be happy and marry a man that you love), you shouldn't be introducing a new authority figure into their lives. How infuriated would you be if all of a sudden your parent said "this person is now allowed to boss you around and punish you because I say so." How powerless and frustrated would you be as a kid? Discipline and correction will always come best from the parent.

    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:37 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • My step son has lived with us since he was 3 1/2 he is now 11. If I was in the position I would never allow anyone to correct my children. I would tell them to call me and my Childs father would address it. We tried this and my step son Bm does not do a thing. He ran away from her house on her weekend and was not corrected at all he was 6 at the time. I correct he lives our home an he will follow the same rules mine have to . I am not a nanny I have 4 kids including my step one on the way. BM gave them up for her to live her life we confront her with a problem she just says let him come live with me. Before my hubby I got married we knew were we stood on discipline. I do everything for all my kids I do everything for my step son who I fell is like my own I bring him to all his practices anything an everything. My kids don't an will never think I like him more because I can't correct him for the things he does. GOOD LUCK.

    laralizbeth81

    Answer by laralizbeth81 at 10:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I'm a step parent of a 7 yr old boy. I will discipline while he is in my care. While he is with me on the weekends, and his dad is at work.. Guess what? I'm boss.. Luckily the last year has been easy with no major problems to speak of.. But while i'm the "MOM" on the weekend, I will discipline as I see fit..
    PeytonsMom21109

    Answer by PeytonsMom21109 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

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