(repost from a few days ago)i have been separated from my ex husband for almost a year now....and for a long time it was my daddy this my daddy that..but thru the past year he has kinda disapeared from our childrens lives....he wont answer my little girls calls or even return them....and the past few weeks she surprised me by saying" ur my mommy?" i said yes "whos going to be the daddy?" i told her i am going to be the mommy and the daddy right now....she was satisfied with that answer for a few days...then she asked it again and said" u need to pick a daddy" coming froma 4 yr old i was shocked..i have been seeing a wonderfull man for almost 4 months now..and he adores me kids..and they adore him....BUT i am not comfortable with him taking on a father roll this early in the relationship...i tell my kids he is mommies friend and he can be their friend too...how would u respond to these questions?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jan. 16, 2009 in General Parenting
Answer by Amanduhpanda at 11:54 AM on Jan. 16, 2009
Answer by Lacey1012 at 11:55 AM on Jan. 16, 2009
I would answer them as openly and honestly as a four year old is capable of understanding. I went through these questions with my kids as well but I left their dad when they were babies. They didn't see their dad until they were 6 & 7 years old. My response was you have a daddy but he lives far away and can't come see you now. Needless to say I eventually got through to him and forced him to take an active role in his kids lives. I wish you lots of luck on this one, I know it isn't easy.
Answer by BooBear666 at 11:59 AM on Jan. 16, 2009
Answer by goaliemom93 at 11:59 AM on Jan. 16, 2009
Give it time. So far so good
You shouldn't introduce anyone to your kids until you are sure he is the one, hopefully it does work out bc the kids and he like eachother so give it time. As long as you see positive things don't worry about it. You just don't want to introduce too many people in their lives. Just becareful.
Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:01 PM on Jan. 16, 2009
Prior to my marriage I had been in a relationship with a man that had a child. Her mother was pretty much out of the picture and I had been there since she was about 15m old. She was about four and one day we were sitting in the living room watching tv, and she turns and asks me, "Why aren't you my mommy?" Even though I wasn't it almost made me cry. I just explained to her that she had a mommy, but that I was her friend and I loved her very much, I could never take the place of her mommy but I would always love her. She then says, " I wish you were my mommy." Needless to say I felt horrible, and I didn't even do anything.
so far i can't really add to anything that has been said!!!.....big hugs to you both.....i'm sure you are in a very difficult spot!!!!.....good luck with this new relationship
Answer by bigblueeyes at 12:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2009
Answer by micrespo at 1:08 PM on Jan. 16, 2009
Answer by indigostone at 1:08 PM on Jan. 16, 2009
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