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would you be angry

i am so ticked my mom and dad live less then 2 hrs away.. and i can count on 1 hand the number of times they have come 2 c there grandson (he is 2 now) we always have to go up there.. the messed up part is my dad worsk 20 mins away from my house HE COULD STOP BY! did they call to tell himhappy birthday .. nope they waited til i called them and my dad still never said it.... he was supposed to stop by on his bday nbut "something" came up.. he wouldnt tell me waht.. then they were gona come say hi to him today but changed there mind AGAIN1 if they want to see him they should come down here everyonce in awhile.. are they coming ot his party on sunday.. nope cuz they have church funny thing though.. when my lil sis lved here they came every weekend to see her and still wouldnt see us..am i wrong to be mad?

Answer Question
 
JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 12:42 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • no not at all I would just say next time they want to see him sure when would you like to come over

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I would be upset too. But I would tell them calmly that your son misses them and that you are concerned that he's not going to get to know them as well as you like. That you having to travel up there all the time is difficult on you guys and you don't want to put your son through that every time you want a visit.

    It's tough...but good luck. Maybe they don't realize how much this is bothering you? Maybe they don't want to be too pushy and get too involved? I know my parents are like that and they live 10 minutes away...We call them and tell them when they are coming over. =)
    Lacey1012

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 12:44 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • No your totally in the right to be mad!! that is really messed up on your parents part!! Have you asked them y they could see your sister when she lived there every weekend but they wont see you or your son???
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:46 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • You are not wrong to feel hurt and confused. Here is what I would do if I were you: I would lay my cards on the table. I would call my parents and tell them I am concerned that we never seem to be able to see each other as much as I would like. That I love them and I was wondering how to solve this situation. This way you are not blaming or seem like you are being petty. Then I would say this: My door is ALWAYS open to you. Any time. I love you and want you to know our child and know how important you are to me. Then I would leave it at that. The reason for no more drama: because it isn't worth it. They are the ones who miss out. They are the ones who do not know how awesome that grandchild is. Yes it is sad. But you can find older friends to have that "grandparent like relationship with your child. cont...

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:52 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i just don't understand this behavior. do they disaprove of your lifestyle, husband, or the fact that you had a baby... i feel like we are missing part of the puzzle.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 12:53 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • cont...Do go on about your life and find other ways to be more complete. My own mother treated my sister and I very differently. Let's just say it did not end well. Don't let this eat at you. Find different ways to fill that void in your's and your son's life. Take my advice and save some sanity: don't let this eat at you. It will hurt for a little while, grief and loss does hurt. You're loosing that part of what could have been. But you do what you need to now as an adult child and now a mother. You leave that door open and let them decide. That is all you can do. Keep your sister out of it so she can still be the aunt and not the person in the middle. And you show how mature you are - to yourself and to your child.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:55 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • By the way MAD is really a cover. When we are mad or angry it means that there are other more serious emotions under that anger. It usually is hurt, wounded, frustrated, sad, ect.... So know what you really feeling and then its okay to grieve that relationship that isn't the way you would like. Stick with the drama free approach and hold your head up high. Your child is watching and one day your actions now have a way coming back at you. One day he may call you screaming and crying for some perceived issue. You can teach him, starting now, the art of maturity and communication.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • no! your not wrong. i had the same problem with my in laws to my ex. i had the baby and they were like when you bringing the baby out to see us. i was like they should come to us. they visited everyone else's baby in the hospital. his father didn't even come to our wedding but they did all the other kids. my ex's mother has not seen her grand kids in yrs. my mother lives in mexico and sounds like she sees my kids more then your parents do. that is not cool. they probably just don't feel that you need them as much as your little sis or they don't feel close to your child. which sucks. i say learn to accept their behavior and don't let it get to you. they should make an effort for their daughter and their grand child. their loss.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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