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someone help me please ..how do i know i have made the right decision??

well i was in a 12yr relationship I got 3 beautiful children from it ..my husband her mentaly and phyc.. abused me ..he always cheated on me even had kids with other women while we were married ...4 months ago i got in my car wit my kids n left..I found a wonderful man that is good to me and my kids..my husband tells me to go back with him that he loves me and he will change for me.i sumtimes think i should cause the kids and cause money issuses someone please help what should i do??

Answer Question
 
rissa1789

Asked by rissa1789 at 12:44 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You did the right thing. I do believe that people can change, however to put your children BACK into that situation is wrong. You don't want them growing up thinking that behavior is acceptable and that they can do that...or allow that to be done. I would say, worry about getting on your feet and work on you and your kids. Make sure you guys are okay.
    Lacey1012

    Answer by Lacey1012 at 12:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I want to you go back and reread what you wrote. You know the answer to this question hun. You did the right thing by leaving. It may be rough for awhile but it will be better than going through it again.
    my3turtles

    Answer by my3turtles at 12:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • No no no no no do not go back to him!!! your children are better off with less money and without their dad being like that to thier mom please dont go back stay with the man that treats you good!!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I would take it one day at a time I think that you jumped into another relationship to fast but he might be the one for you you will always love your husband but can you really love him and not worry again if he will cheat take it from someone who walked that line the stress and wondering will kill you but if he has changed I i wish you luck

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • don't go back. you would only have to re live all that went wrong the first time with the same results. people don't change enough.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 12:48 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • cheating and especially having children outside the marriage would be enough for me to never look back. add the abuse and i definetly don't see why i would even consider it.i don't see what good it would do the kids and i would figure out something else as far as money, but i would respect myself more than to go back to that kind of treatment.i'm not judging you, whatever you choose is your choice, but i just hope that you know that you have options and seriously consider them. good luck to you
    maemaesmom

    Answer by maemaesmom at 12:49 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Never look back..Men don't know what they have until it's gone.
    sydsmom2

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 12:50 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • you stayed for the kids before and nothing changed and never will. he can change and be in the kids life still. if you go back he won't change. maybe losing you will make him do so. i think you did the best for you and your kids. just cause you left doesn't mean the kids can't still have him in their life. you can't possibly love him after all that. if you have a great guy why would you trade off for a guy who hurt you and didn't love you.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:54 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • The father of your kids is all about control and winning. You have a wonderful new man. That drives him nuts. He wants to "win" you back. Guaranteed that once you go back, he will go back to his old ways - maybe worse. don't do it.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • IMO you already took the biggest step in leaving...... why would you go back?
    emmyjosmommy

    Answer by emmyjosmommy at 2:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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