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What Should I do in Re to Hubby ?

My Hubby and I have been married for 9 yrs and we have 3 kids . He told me about 5 months ago he did not love me the way he use to and we started to therapy and , he wanted to stop going because of the money situation.. So we stopped going. He had a aregument the other day and he pulled the phone out the wall and took my keys and said , he should have left my fat A** 5 months ago , he pushed me and hit me I hit back .
I have tried to talk to him and he won't talk about it, he just says he was mad and he did not mean any of what he said. I tired to talk to his mom and she said that I was the one who needs therapy. What do I do or say? We are having a hard time money wise and , not sure where I would go , I don't work , we have a sick child.. Any Suggestions are appreciated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • This saddens me...because it sounds like you are surrounded by difficult situations.  Men often get overwhelmed much easier than woman and it sounds to me like the pressures of the money is getting to him plus sick child and his marriage difficulties and he obviously does not know how to handle. His reaction to you however is never appropriate!!! That is mental and physical abuse that you don't need.  I can only imagine how scared you must be that this is happening, with not working, money and having 4 kids.  Can't imagine. You need to find out if there is something else going on with him if he will admit to it. Another woman?  Or if it's just the pressure of it all.  Money problems can really make people go crazy.  You BOTH need to decide if this is something you guys want to work out. It cant be one ended it will never work. Please let me know if you just need to chat.

    Scoobersmom

    Answer by Scoobersmom at 1:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Try not to mention what happened again. Choose to forgive him. There are many good books that I could recommend to you on marriage. I don't really know enough about your situation to know which one would be the best. I think FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST A VALUABLE GUIDE TO KNOWING, UNDERSTANDING, & LOVING YOUR HUSBAND would be a good one to start with. It can be had for about $8.00. Most of us aren't prepared for the journey of marriage, so please don't give up. Just try to think of today as a new beginning and look for ways to show your love to your husband. Try not to think at all about what's in it for you. I think you will find that he will soon be reciprocating.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • could your church help? in our church we can get help with counseling and they pay for it if you have a need for help. although you do have to be a full tithe payer. there are some programs for needy families that help with counseling. i think it's ignorant to say that you are the only one with a problem when your both married and can't get along.

    sometimes making a man feel better about themselves helps them to love and appreciate you more.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • He said he didn't mean it, and he likely didn't and it was just said in anger. In my experiences you never go to someone's Mom and complain about them, because most Mom's are going to defend their child. It's nothing personal, it's just the way it usually is. Ripping the phone out of the wall is a bit excessive. I would check in the yellow pages and see if there's any support groups that you two could join to help if nothing else.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Therapy isn't going to make him love you again. He will always feel trapped and miserable until he gets out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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