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Nipping it in the bud whether DH likes it or not!

Hubby thinks I'm being mean but with an infant fixing to join us next month I am done with DS whining. When he wakes up from his nap he refuses to speak. He cries if he wants something and expects us to figure it out and then cries and screams and kicks if we get it wrong. He is two and can speak very well so there is no reason he can not ask for what he wants.

So today I knelt down and told him "mommy can't understand you when you cry. You need to use your words like a big boy." Instead, he threw himself on the floor and pitched a fit so I told him he had until the count of three to stop crying and talk to me or he was going to his room. He screamed louder so I put him in his room and told him he could come out when he was done crying and wanted to talk to me.

Then DH starts in on me. "Well he probably just wants a drink. You don't have to be mean to him."

Then he can ask for one! I'm going to have an infant soon whose only means of communication is crying. I can't handle two kids crying at me for everything and since he's the one who can talk, he's the one that is going to stop.

He only does it for the hour or so after naptime though! Any other time he's polite, articulate and very well behaved. I don't get it.

Just needed to vent. Crying cuts right through me when it's a kid who's more than capable of asking for what they want.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:36 PM on Feb. 3, 2012 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (15)
  • sounds like he isn't getting a long enough nap time, or maybe you should just let him stay alone in his room/crib for awhile after he wakes up to really WAKE himself up enough, kwim? my ds (3 next month) will get up from a nap and just come sit next to me sucking his thumb for awhile and if anyone tries to talk to him or play with him he gets grouchy, he just needs that extra little time to wake up all the way :-/

    Answer by DreainCO at 4:39 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • how long is he napping? Could it be too long,or not long enough?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:39 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • He sleeps for an hour exactly and that's without our interference. He's like a little clock.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • You're not going to nip it going that route. Ignore him. Walk off and ignore him. Once he gets over his grouchy spell and if he really is thristy he will tell you

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 4:42 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • A few pointers

    - Don't yell or sound frustrated towards him. That only perpetuates it. You can disipline in a nice, sweet voice. Kids tend to respond better with nice tones of voices. When you get frustrated, they only get frustrated also.

    - tell him he has two choices

    #1 - he can stay in his room and feel upset
    #2 - he can use his words & ask for what he wants

    tell him when he is ready to use his big boy words,he can come out & tell mommy what he wants.

    Make it simple, simple is easy for everyone involved.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:45 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • When he wakes up I would just not talk to him. If he whines or cries. Tell him just like you did today he needs to use words. He he cries louder walk off. If it escalates to the point that the is disrupting the rest of the household then yes-put him in his room until he is calm and happy. That is just my opinion though. I personally will not tolerate screaming at the top of your lungs in the same room as me. If my kids want to scream their heads off they may do so in their room.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:48 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • I think your approach is great. Godd job...
    And congrats on baby #2..

    Answer by meooma at 4:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • I don't get grumpy with him. I'm very calm when I tell him he needs to talk to me and when I put him in his room I tell him calmly that he can come out when he's ready to talk to me like a big boy.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • At that age when they whined I would say "I don't understand whining" and then simply ignore them until they spoke correctly. At first I added "when you are ready to speak with your big words then I can help you." It takes time and consistency and you are NOT being mean. You are helping your child grow and develop. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

  • I do the same thing with mine and have for years. If any of mine fuss (from 18 months to 14 years) I tell them they can go to their room until they can play nicely/speak in a calm voice/share toys/etc. It works much better than a set time limit such as time out because they are in complete control of how long it lasts. My 3 yo has gotten to the point where when he's getting upset, he will go to his room all by himself to cool off for a few minutes, which is the whole idea - to teach them the handle their own emotions without needing my direction.

    Answer by missanc at 5:28 PM on Feb. 3, 2012

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