Would you let your (barely) 13yr old sleep over with a boy?

Apparently my SD mom has been letting her sleep over at her boy friends houses. (not actual boyfriends, but just friends that are boys) This really rubs her dad and I wrong, but apparently it's happened a few times before we even found out. When SD told us and we were upset she smirks and proudly says, "I've slept over at boys houses a few times." (she is supposedly, hopefully, sleeping in separate rooms) Most of me is ticked. But a part of me says, OK, there is some grey area here because if she had a brother who was close in age, like i did, there would be occasions where her brother may have a friend spend the night, or even her girl friends could have brothers, and then there is a similar situation. But it just seems weird to me. Even if my brother had boys over to spend the night, it never crossed my mind to invite one of my guy friends over, it was just accepted as a no-no.
What do you all think?

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Asked by earthmama727 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 4, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (24)

NO way in HELL. That mother is obviously just dying for a grandchild! SMH

Answer by texasgurl33 at 5:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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i would be pissed. its almost like she is giving her permision to have sex because i see it differant if its a gf and she has a brother or whatever. 13 yr olds do have sex and raging hormones. how does that ma look as a parent. that should be a no no in my opinion

Answer by VDietrich at 5:01 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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I'd say no, but at the same time not knowing the whole situation I guess it would depend. My dd would never ever spend the night at some random boys house. But if I was friends with their parents and my dd was indeed just friends with them, and they were supervised I likely would not have a problem with it. So not knowing the relationship I cant answer. But as for a knee jerk reaction Id say no.

Answer by gemgem at 6:30 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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No way!

Answer by iwicked at 4:59 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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Yea I think that is a NO NO too. Has your DH talked to the bio mom about this.
Truthfully you can not do much about it when she is under bio moms care. Only when she is in your care. Hope you can work it out.

Answer by louise2 at 5:02 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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I would make 10o% sure they are sleeping in seperate rooms,, I have a son, and if he were to have a member of the opposite sex, he would be sleeping on the couch, or on the floor of my room,, I would have your husband talk to the ex to be sure this is the case, or you may be a step-granny in a few weeks,,lol.

Answer by kimigogo at 5:03 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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I should have added that DS has twins one boy and one girl that he is friends with,, he is only 7 but we allow them to have sleepovers, but even at this age, the boys bunk in his room and the girl sleeps on an air mattress in my room,, and vice versa when we allow him to go to thier house,, the thing that bothers me about this whole THING, is your DH HAS no idea what kind of people or who your SD is spending the night with,, I THINK it is now time to get an official custody arrangement drawn up,, and you can include this in your court orders.

Answer by kimigogo at 5:38 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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No, it just sends a bad message and then where do you stop? When it's a boyfriend? Jeez, I had to wait till college for sleepovers!

Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 4, 2012

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Luckily the one that was scheduled for tonight fell through. he is going to talk to her about it but we feel pretty powerless because she's not very honest with us and even after he talks to her, she could just lie in the future and tell us she's sleeping at a girls house. I can't believe she's ok with this! She doesn't even really have custody, she just acts like it. There is no court order granting either of them official custody, but she tends to assume the final word on things. I don't know what to do. I'd hate to see my SD get in trouble cause her mom is being an idiot.

Comment by earthmama727 (original poster) at 5:33 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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No..wtf ... Definitely a no no

Answer by christinkie at 5:33 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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