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How do you keep the peace between a step son and your son they are only a year apart and lately it is nonstop. HELP i think i might loose my mind!!!!LOL

We have four wonderful boys. We have my son my husbands son and then two of our own. The older ones are both first born and both have the first born leadership qualities and I don't know how to bring them together again.

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Julahan

Asked by Julahan at 4:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (3)
  • Remember this about ownership. They both feel they have realestate by owning one parent or another but are unsure about the other and are willing to take out the other to gain footing. It sounds like this is effecting their self esteem and you might work on character skills like how to be a good a friend and what makes a good friend and how when the house is happy everything is happy. Keep reassureing the child that is not yours that you are his too. Even if you the real biological mom is in the picture, he needs to know that he is never the 3rd wheel. This may have to manifest itself in the form of special time between you or your husband and the non-biological child. Allow penalties for the boy who is instigating unhappiness aka not being a good friend. My favorite is having to sit on the couch and watch the financial channel for an hour.
    Tway

    Answer by Tway at 4:44 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • We both have boys that are 13 and we both have daughters 10 and 11. We dont have problems with the girls, but i know what your talking about with the boys! We are into year three now and it has gotten alot better (if that helps)Try to make them work it out on their own as much as possible and stop the activity until they do. Try not to get too caught up in their drama. I used to find that I was still worked up long after they were over it. I dont do that anymore and it seems to be better.
    Carolbrady100

    Answer by Carolbrady100 at 5:58 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • put them together doing something selfless. Have them help the other younger boys together. Or, have them do something together that requires 2 people and cooperation. If that fails don't push too hard, some ppl just don't get along, you can't force a genuine relationship.
    ChasesMommy0115

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

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