How do I help my DD!!

She is in 7th grade. She has no friends at school at all. Everyone picks on her. They tease her call her names won't allow her to sit with them and make fun of her all the time. They call her 'Toto" like the dog from Wizard of Oz. He does't do anything back to them. She cries about it. She sits by herself all the time. she won't even try to pair up for anything anymore. She request to work independently so she won't have to have anything to do with any of them. She has even decided not to go on the overnight 'camp' trip because no one would pair with her and she didn't want the teachers to force it because they would just be mean. she screams and cries every morning to let me let her stay home. The counselor is no help at all. I know he is right. No one can force the kids to be accepting. I just don't know WHY they do this to her. She has missed so much school because I can't force her into the car. I am going to end up in trouble. So now she does things so she can get in school suspension so she can be away form everyone. They are tormenting her! She hasn't ONE person who is nice to her. She has people who are indifferent but when it comes to push or shove they take the mean kids side as well. Homeschooling is not an option for us and the counselor said changing school was not either. I just want her to like school. I am tired of fighting her through her pain into and out of the car each day. It's like I am throwing her to the sharks. What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Feb. 4, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

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If neither homeschooling or changing schools is an option, she's going to be miserable until it's over. I don't know how you can help at this point. It's very hard to change kids at school, and your daughter has given up (understandably). I would try at least to get her some personal counseling.

Answer by ohwrite at 8:59 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
Credits: 26829 Level 26 Tweens (9-12) 101

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Change schools

Answer by gemgem at 9:18 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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Try to be more involved in the school, Show up for lunch, volunteer to be class mom, attend field trips or anything so you're there with her. When you see the bullying DEMAND that there be action taken to discipline these hateful children.

Answer by BeautyGuru at 9:20 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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There is something very wrong here. If the school and a therapist can't help, then go to the school board. Your child deserves better

Answer by rkoloms at 9:31 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
Credits: 72089 Level 35 Tweens (9-12) 101

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You need to be at the school raising holy h*ll until someone does something to help your child - either by investigating and punishing the bullies and/or allowing her to change schools. Something needs to be done. Do a google search about the recent suicides and print them out and continue to bother the counsellor, principal and take it to the school board. Your DD needs your support and for you to be an advocate. Go get 'em mamma!

Answer by balagan_imma at 9:40 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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If they cannot help her and she is suffering this much, I would go above the counselor's head and call the board of education. This is unacceptable. Your daughter deserves, at minimum, an education. It sucks to be the one bullied and left out. Changing schools would probably help ALOT. I was shy as a child and didn't have many friends, although I wasn't really bullied (a little). My mom found a private school where I got a scholarship and things were better. My daughter was having trouble in school for a number of reasons and arranged to get herself transferred to the alternative school where she could learn better and not have to deal with all the social drama. Do not take no for an answer.

Answer by figaro8895 at 10:07 PM on Feb. 4, 2012
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NOt sure why you wouldnt change schools at this point, a fresh start would be better than battling the loosing battle with a school that ovbiously dosnt care.

Answer by minimo77 at 11:21 AM on Feb. 5, 2012
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PS- Before you change schools(if you decide to got his route) I would take her out for a girls day out, to boost her self confidence. Get your hair done, have lunch, get a new outfit, some cool jewlery. YOU have to put yourself in your dds' shoes, and do anything you can.

Answer by minimo77 at 11:23 AM on Feb. 5, 2012
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I'm so sorry for you and your daughter, this is my worst nightmare! I think the other mom's are right. Something has to be done at the school. These kids are bullying her. :( When stuff like this happens, I always wonder, where are all the religious kids? They should be standing up for her or befriending her! Could you take her to a youth group where she can meet girls her age? She really needs a friend. HUGS and good luck.

Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:50 PM on Feb. 5, 2012
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Why has the counselor told you that changing schools is not an option? That sounds like bullshit to me. I would seriously look into the option of her changing schools - go to the school board if you have to.

Answer by katiemomNY at 12:03 AM on Feb. 6, 2012
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