Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Divorce and stepchildren?

My stepson is 7, my husband and I have been together about 6 years. I love this boy like he is my own. My husband and I are now talking divorce. What, if anything, can I do to assure I still get to see my stepson?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Jul. 18, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I don't think that step-parents usually have legal rights to visitation (although I'm not sure). However, your best best is to keep the events up to the divorce as neutral as possible. If you can manage to get through this with everyone saying, "it didn't work out, but we can still be civil to each other," your soon to be ex is more likely to freely grant you time with your SS.

    If you feel up to it, offer to take him when DH would otherwise hire a sitter (but be prepared...that might mean date night with a "new" woman)

    I know how hard it is to "lose" a stepchild, although mine was due to a death, not divorce. I wish you much success in achieving this worthwhile goal.

    Answer by lawmom623 at 11:34 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Are you on good terms with his mother?? You could try talking to her about visits with him. Did you ask your hubby about it? Maybe you 2 could make some kind of agreement that when he has him, that he can let you have a few hours or something with the boy. It doesn't hurt to ask. Then of coarse there is the court system. You can check into & see what they can do for you. I would do that as a last resort. You don't want to drag the child through all that if you don't have to. Good luck.

    Answer by HelenStoner at 11:19 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Research the statutes in your state. Some are starting to recognize step-parents. I know New Mexico will grant step visitation if it is deemed in the best interest of the child.

    It would be easier to get Dad to agree to let you spend time with him.

    Answer by desert_diva at 11:38 AM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • Unfortunaltely there isn't anything legal you can do to assure visitation, unless you can prove both he and the mother are unfit parents. The only thing you can do is stay on good terms with your husband and tell him you want to keep seeing your son.

    Answer by feesharose at 3:38 PM on Jul. 18, 2008

  • You request visitation. Make it clear to the courts you are the MOMMY he knows. He was only 1 and that's 6 yrs. I would say you have a decent shot unless he's a totall asswipe. Is the bio Mom in the picture at all? What would the stepson want. Courts will ask that too.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2008