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what should i do

on january the 28 is gonna be a year that i lost my baby boy to sids i hate thinking that he could of been here with me i miss him so much i have a 2 year old am debating whether i should call in to work and spend that day with my son or come to work dont get me wrong i miss him and always will miss my son but am so scared cause i dont want to feel that pain all over i mean just thinking of what happen last year on that same day is gonna kill me as am writting this am crying cause is just too hard

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Asked by LOVE88 at 4:51 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • i know it is painful but you can't let that day get you down...there are sometimes when you have to let it go but don't hold it as a barrier to not spend the day with your other kid...if you want to be with your kid then take off work...hope this helps

    Answer by brentond91708 at 4:55 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I am so sorry for your loss! My heart bleeds for you! I had a daughter that was stillborn January 11, 1999. I know my loss was different than yours, but for me, the one year mark was almost a peaceful thing. When she first died, I wanted to die too! I never thought I'd survive a whole year without her, so when I passed that mark, it was like that was when my real healing started. I think you should do whatever feels right to you! Whatever will bring you the most peace! My prayers are with you.

    Answer by Mishelly728 at 4:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I am not trying to be cold hearted...but there does come a point where you have to move forward. That does NOT mean forgetting, that does NOT mean the hurt ever stops. The hurt and the missing him will always be there. It will get easier with time to deal, to cope...the hurt will change, but never go away.

    But you need to decide for YOURSELF what is going to be the best way for you to handle this anniversary.

    I'm so sorry for your loss....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • My friend lost her son 6 years ago, and she always takes that day off from work. You have the right to grieve as much as you want to....Take your kids somewhere and spend the whole day crying if you want to.
    One thing I have learned from her is that NOBODY can say they understand how you are feeling, unless they have been in your shoes. You need to do what feels right for you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!

    Answer by christyg at 5:03 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Take the day off hun :) sorry for your loss :(

    Answer by delta27 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i am really sorry for your loss. i say you take the day off. i can only imagine what its like to loose a child. i had a miscarriage very early in the preg. and that almost killed me. so i cant imagine your pain.

    good luck. and once again i'm sorry!

    Answer by MommaBear1129 at 7:27 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Love88, I am so sorry for your loss, and looking at your profile, you have the most handsome little man to either spend the day with or just spend the day alone with your emotions, cry it out if you need to. I don't know what your little man knew or could understand about your son being gone and your profound sadness. My only caution is, and you'll be able to know where you are at as the day approaches, that you don't (how do I say this) "burden"-not the word I'm looking for- your 2 y/o with the sadness. Don't make it the saddest day for your surviving child. If you can think of ways to "honor" your last child's memory with your 2 y/o in ways he can understand, "flying a balloon to Heaven" or drawing a picture of him, etc. or looking at the baby's pictures and saying, Do you remember .... ?


    Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:34 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • (con't)
    I, too, have an almost 2 y/o and would want to make sure that he doesn't think HE is making me sad that day. I am SO very sorry for your loss, and no matter what you decide to do, it will be the right thing for you. There is no "right" way to grieve & no timeline to follow, but I do know that no matter what, January 29th will come and you will have lived thru the hardest year. God Bless You!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 7:34 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I would stay home and try to surround myself with the people and things that bring me comfort and happiness.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 10:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Whatever feels right to you, is what you should do. This is your loss, and your life and you have the right to do what you need to do!

    Answer by BJoan at 10:47 AM on Jan. 20, 2009

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