Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I found a condom in my JUST 13yr olds room. What now?

Well, my dad actually found it. It was opened but didnt seem to have been used, but still. So, I went to his room and found another one, opened and put back in the package, but obviously not used. I dont know what to do. I mean he just turned 13 a few weeks ago(day after Christmas) and now condoms. On one hand I am grateful he knows what they are, but on the other I want to know why he has them and if he actually needs them!!! How do I broach this with him. He is not a sharer and usually shuts down if I try to talk to him about ANYTHING. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
jajumommy2000

Asked by jajumommy2000 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (99 Credits)
Answers (42)
  • Can your SO talk to him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:10 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Put it back like you did not find it.Wait a couple of days and sit down with him and talk.I will try to relieve your mind some by telling you,if he is one of these clean kids,they will use them to masturbate in to keep from making a mess.
    laranadtony

    Answer by laranadtony at 5:11 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Ehhhhh,I had to buy my boys their own towels.They kept starching mine.
    laranadtony

    Answer by laranadtony at 5:12 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I would most definitely talk to him regardless if he participates in the conversation or not. Tell him your concerns, ask him any questions you might have. Make sure he knows risks, consequences, etc. But I would definitely be prepared for the questions and anger about why you were going thru his room. It could just be that one of his friends got a hold of some and they were playing with them, just curious. And not trying to be gross, but my ex boyfriend told me he used them for masturbating because it was just easier and cleaner. So, yeah, talk to him. If he knows about condoms, he knows about other things, just make sure he knows he right other things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Thanks, no my SO cant talk to him, we are seperated and he is looking for a place. He and DH DO NOT GET ALONG AT ALL!!! The thing is the first thought was he was using it to masturbate in but there was nothing in it at all. I just dont know where he got them in the first place...
    jajumommy2000

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • well you should def. talk to him.. BUT dont let him know that you found them in his stuff. he will probably be really mad at you for digging through his stuff.

    maybe his dad can have a talk with him.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Is there a male figure in his life he likes? Can you have him talk to your son to open him up a bit and then have a good talk with him afterwards not necessarily on the topic right away but about his life and what's going on at the moment, then let him open up eventually.

    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 5:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Yea, I guess I shouldnt have looked but I was just curious, KWIM. As for what my dad was doing I have no idea. He is staying here for a bit and cleans when he is bored so he found it. I guess I would have found it cause I was cleaning DSs room on Monday. I just never finished.
    jajumommy2000

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 5:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Yea he really likes my uncle. Problem is we live 4 hours away from family. My kids dad isnt in the picture so thats not a possibility. I am so lost with this stage!!!
    jajumommy2000

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 5:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Don't panic!!! Some schools give condoms away at school during sex ed week. Is his dad around? if not ask you dad to talk to him. He may need a man to talk to him. If you prefer to talk to him yourself it is okay if he doesn't talk, he can listen. let him know it is okay, that you are not upset and see if he has any questions. Talk to him like you woul a friend not like a Mom, he will shut down. Have the talk by easing into it. You have to be brave and tell him all you know, even if you are screaming on the inside, don't let him see. He might be embarrassed at first, and it need not be your only conversation. You'll need many conversations. Don't brow beat him, but don't let it go. It might also work if you find someone who he is comfortable with talking to and you trust, to shed some light on this subject. He is obviouly curious, get all the imformation you can, because there are too many people who will.

    StepmommyRee

    Answer by StepmommyRee at 5:25 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.