So conflicted about DD. What would you do about the fine line between keeping track and micromanaging?

Since she is 17, has after school activities and a job 1 or 2 evenings a week, we let her drive our car to school and work. She also has a boyfriend of 7 months, nice person. But, I know she has been the one wanting to engage in "stuff"...not necessarily intercourse, but you know..and he, 16 (with a car) is certainly not saying no. (Btw, this boy stuff has been going on for 4 years..and she is always "in love" with whoever she's dating..the physical stuff has been escalating for the last 2, probably won't be long before they are fully there) So, when and where this stuff goes on is a mystery...my DH and I discussed driving by to make sure she is where she says, and/or using the phone gps (she knows she needs to be in touch or able to be reached via cell). The thought of letting her go and do "stuff" makes me stressed as much as does the idea of keeping track of her. She knows we want her to wait...but are putting her on the pill and encouraging her to use 2 forms of bc should she and bf choose not to wait. Because, yes, we think it's a BIG DEAL. At least we have talked about that aspect...and I believe her view is that sex is no big deal...we're horny and in love, so why wait?< not her exact words. SO...teens who want to have sexual contact and have parents who want them to wait are stuck sneaking around and lying...and we as parents hate to be lied to! How does this ever resolve...or do we all live in a state of partial denial until college next fall? I think she may make a college decision based on not going too far from bf, a junior. Would you just be "comfortable" knowing she is protected and turn the other cheek, or would you make it harder for her to sneak around with our car? When the car broke down and was inoperable for a few weeks, my DD was like a crazed, caged animal...almost nasty....and we took her to task for it. She had to take the bus to school, and I had to drive her to work. Seems like when she has her freedoms she is easier to live with, but also taking more risks. She also has one friend who encourages what she's up to...saw a FB post alluding to such...very cryptic, but we aren't stupid!! Why, if it's such a big secret is she posting stuff on FB? I was allowed freedom when I was in HS, but my big brother was always around to see that I was safe...and I was working all the time and not "boy crazy" like she is. How would you handle this?

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