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What to do when toddler says she doesn't like her grandparents?

My 33 month old daughter says she does not love her paternal grandparents. She used to love spending time with them, up until recently. I just don't understand why. She even denies they are her grandparents. My husband and I do not approve of this behavior. She stays with her maternal grandparents during the week as well as attends MDO. Please help!

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Asked by Allisonlejeune at 8:55 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • maybe someones feeding that to her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • maybe the ones she likes gives her candy and junk food, and the ones she's doesn't like feeds her healthy?!!?!

    You never know how their minds work. It's probably something like that... one side does stuff she likes, the other side doesn't. Is she rude to your paternal grandparents(to their face)? I would not let that fly.
    Figure out what the problem is first.

    Answer by charisma10 at 8:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • discuss it with her, maybe theres something that happened that causes her resentment. maybe she just prefers the "extras" from your parents. something doent sound right....

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 9:00 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Ask her why she doesn't like them. You'd be surprised at how much a child that age will tell you. Let her know she has to be respectful still, even if she doesn't like someone.

    Answer by LolosMom at 9:04 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i think a 2 year old is a little you to be truly hating anyone. There has to be something else up.


    Answer by louise2 at 9:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • my daughter once said that about her other set of grandparents, and i said ohh good, neither
    do I. me and her dad arent together any more, and his parents are seriously the worst people in the world! waste of space! long story, but yaa..i dont like them..and i said that to my daughter as a joke..i would never let her know how much i hated those people!! after all it was ME they said crap too..not her..i wouldnt ever want to PURPOSELY have bad feelings toward anyone

    Answer by alexis_06 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • My first thought was that perhaps her other set of grandparents, maybe even unintentionally, are feeding into this new line of thought. If this were my child I would have a serious sit down but in a very respectful and nonjudgmental way. At 3 she doesn't understand her impact she has - but is starting to learn she has one on the world and how others respond to her. Snuggle up, show her pictures of all her family. Tell her about her personal baby story, who was happy she arrived, to her about family and who is in her family. Explain then that you have a problem, that you are sad and hurt and you need to her help. Toddlers love to be helpful. cont...

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:47 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • cont...You want to rule out that they (paternals) were hurtful or abusive in any way and that was the reason. My guess, and it is only a guess, is that she is exercising some of her toddler power and is playing around with it. You have to nip it in the bud. If there is a way to date the paternal grandparents she needs to do play dates with them, do fun things, and become pals again. I would also ask my mother if she could help me understand if there was any reason my child is not liking the other set of grands. Not to put blame but to ask if your child said anything to her. Also, if you do but your probably don't, don't bad mouth paternal grands in front of your parents ever. So not to feed into any potential problems there. No ammo no harm. Do put your foot down and in time she will come around with help from you and her other grandparents.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:51 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • From newborn to age 18.Childern always have their recorders on.What they hear or see.They will mimic.Especially when they are toddlers.It is the "Monkey see,monkey do" period for them.Asking your toddler why she is saying that.You probably won't get the correct answer.More of an answer of " I don't know."I would recomend to ask the grandparents of both sides if they have said anything that she might had overheard.

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 2:05 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I would ask see if there is a good reason, maybe discuss it with other grandparents OUT OF RANGE OF YOUR DD and then sorta brush it off.
    Sometimes, kids just say things and see our reaction. When they see its a big deal they then perseverate, exaggerate and go on and on with it. But .... if you sorta ignore it (AFTER SEEING IF THERE IS A REASON) then they move on.
    It could also be something as simple and not seeing them as often or diff structure. Sometimes my son doesn't want to go to my mom's b/c she is more strict and less playful than my dad. its not a big deal she just isn't likely to wrestle with him and boundaries and rules are more enforced while at dad's Mimi will let them get away with just about everything.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 11:31 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

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