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my jealousy

I have a problem I need help with. I am in a relationship that is great except for an issue I have that I need to overcome or I will loose him. He likes to go out for a drink or two or more once in a while but I cannot stop getting angry about it the jelousy inside me thinking bout him out having a few while I am at home drives me crazy I am scared he will find someone else to spend his time with not because of anything he has done but my ex husband would cheat on me and that is in the back of my head. Before we moved into together and before he had his kids full time we would go out and have so much fun together drinking, or a movie, or out to dinner, or just staying in and enjoying each other now we get hardly any time together and I miss it so much and understand things can't be that way because of the kids but this is another part of the jealousy issue

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Asked by goodperson1us at 9:45 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • So your saying you watch his kids while he goes out to a bar? Is he your DH or SO?


    Answer by louise2 at 9:51 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I was wondering the same thing Louise2.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 9:58 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • You should talk to him about this. If it is making you angry you need to tell him it bothers you. Louise2 had a point also, HE should be at home with HIS kids not you wether you are married or not they are his kids he should take care of them.

    Answer by ednakrabapple at 9:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Ya I was thinking what the poster above said... your watching his kids while he goes to the bar??? Why? I would look into a baby sitter so you two can both still have adult time together. One will just have to sit and watch while the other drinks but hey you're still out enjoying each other company.

    Answer by dtetz at 9:59 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Well if I am right . I say he is using you for a baby sitter. He can drink at home cheaper. Better you be ther than me cause I wouldn't put up with it.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:01 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • its ok for a man to go out with his friends but he needs to also pick a nite that its just you and him. he can get a sitter for the kids and you guys go out a have a nice time, we need time away from the kids to.

    Answer by gigi1955 at 10:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • This one has a lot of read flags. Why did you move in together? How and where did you meet? At a bar? is that where the jealousy is coming from? You are now the babysitter, why. Don't you have friends and/or hobbies that can occupy your time? Where is the mother, and how often are you taking care of the children? There is more here than just jealousy. This is a wake up call and you may need to rethink the entire relationship as well as doing some soul searching within yourself. Please reevaluate and find someone who is objective to guide you in this relationship.

    Answer by sa2825 at 10:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Do you go out with your friends once in a while? Ladies also have all the time they want to get out, and especially since the children are not yours physically. Time to sit and have a quiet conversations, with out the children in the room, and seriously discuss this. If he is just having a get together with his friends, can't they come over on Friday evenings for this?

    Answer by DRZ at 10:23 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • You know...I don't really see anything wrong with you having a problem with him doing that.
    I could understand if he wants to go to a friends house (Man night) turn on some music and have some drinks. Maybe you could compromise and agree to that?
    I can see why you have a problem with this. A married man in a bar without his wife half-drunk if not all the way drunk. And single women also intoxicated=bad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i would have more of an issue with the drinking and driving and poss. killing himself or someone else and for the ladies that questioned if she was watching his kids for him to go out i had an ex that would watch my kids when we were together for me to go out but then the next night he would go out and then one night a week we would get a sitter for just us

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:55 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

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