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You can't have two masters.

Alright so this is the situation. My husband is extremely overwhelmed right now. A little background. . . or a lot, lol.

I am five years older than my husband. We got married the day he turned twenty. Even though we dated for a really short period of time I discussed with him that I was concerned he wasn't going to be able to experience, what I felt was a very important part of his life if he was married. He assured me, as any twenty year old that thinks they know everything that this is what he wanted.



Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing. All you can do for him is be supportive of what he's doing. I know being a military wife means you will have to come second a lot of the time, but someone has to do it, right? It takes a strong person to deal with it. Some are better at it than others. And hopefully soon he'll feel less overwhelmed. My dh was young when he joined the military too, deployed at 21 and at 24. It was rough for a little while there, especially when he first got home, but now we've gotten into our routines and have accepted the way life goes. Good luck with everything. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me any time!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 1:21 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Wow, you could have typed a lot more in the question than that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • We have been married for three years and have 14m old. We found out I was pregnant the week before he deployed, he returned for the birth during his leave and was gone again until she was seven months old. Since he has returned he has dealt with the death of his grandfather who raised him. A new baby, new house, and a wife that motherhood has changed. In addition he is an NCO and has a lot of new responsiblity and he was going special forces.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • The entire reason for his enlistment was to go special forces, everything was done and he was ready to go and three days prior to that he found out that his eye sight waiver was denied. So that pretty much shattered that hope. He is also the soul breadwinner and encouraged me to quit my job to stay home with our dd. In addition the military has screwed up his pay (you know how that goes after deployments) and he is dealing with alot. He is gone for a few months at school and has been placed in a slot to go to Ranger school in March.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Okay, but what is your question?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I know he has been under a lot of pressure so tonight on the phone I talked to him about it. He tells me how overwhelmed he is and he feels like running away. After all he is twenty two and I can imagine how he feels. His dilema now is that he knows that if he commits to his job the way that he needs to that we will suffer, but if he doesn't than his job suffers. I told him that I understood and that I knew going into being a military wife that I would come second. Now I know a lot of women might have a problem with this but I am not one of them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I have a degree and I am independent, and I trust my husband. I know my husband is just one of those people that was meant to be a soldier. I told him that he needed to focus on his work and get done what he needed to do. I know that he will be much happier if he does. My question is, do you think I am being too understanding? I love my husband and am not one of those women that needs to be up his ass every five seconds. Are there other women that are out there that think that a person needs to not lose their indivduality just because they are married. I want him to be happy in our marriage, but with his life too. Is that wrong?


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • You seem a strong person, you can do this. Good luck to you and your family.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:41 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • i think if youre both okay with it its fine. you know what you can handle and you should do what is best for your family.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I have to agree with the other two ladies. Do what is right for your family.

    Answer by ednakrabapple at 10:51 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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