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Is this normal behavior during grief?

My grandma die yesterday afternoon. She had been sick for a long time and we knew it was coming. Of course everyone is upset still. It was my Dad's mother that passed. My dad and my Aunt, (dad's sister), have been acting like children. Fighting with eachother in a very immature way. She said she was never going to speak to him again and he said "good!" then when she started to say something else he interupted her saying "Hey! You promised never to speak to me again!" This argument is like they are kids. Is this normal for adult siblings while grieving over the loss of a parent? What is going on?!?!


Asked by AprilD32 at 11:13 PM on Jan. 16, 2009 in Health

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Answers (8)
  • I have to agree with the other post. When my grandmother died in 2007, the entire family was at war. My mom swore up and down she would not talk to her sister and her sisters said the same. My cousins were also involved, and they all seemed to have hang up on my uncle, whom my grandmother protected. Well, for over a year the family was at war, but when my mom pasted away last year the family finally came to their senses. My aunt is in shock that in a year she lost both her mom and her little sister (my mom). So, death can impact a family in many ways.
    Sorry to hear about your loss. I know that it is difficult in a year I have lost my grandmother, grandfather, and my mom. I guess my grandmother and grandfather thought it was best to take their suffering daughter with them.

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 11:26 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • It sounds immature to me but hey everybody grieves differently

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Grief is such a strange thing. Everyone responds differently. Try not to be is a rough time.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 11:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • I think people's nerves make them exceptionally weird with death, more often men. My husband can't deal with death - he wasn't taught how to act cuz his family considers death only about the dying having no effect on the survivors; that therre's no reason ever to be sad cuz the deceased (his elders in his family) didn't want any one upset of them and that's the way it is. period. It's sad. Could your dad and aunt deal responsibly with death in the past? Maybe each thinks the other was favored by their mom and there's jealousy that they're acting out on?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • anon at 9:22, there have been other deaths in the family in the past. They did not behave this way at those times. At least not that I have seen before.

    Answer by AprilD32 at 11:25 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • Simply creative, thanks for your reply. I am sorry for your loss as well. I am also concerned about my granddad and my mom, by odd coincidence. My mom has MS and diabetes and is on oxygen. She wears out very easily and is not very active. My Grandad seems in good health mostly, he gave us a scare with a heart incident about a year ago but has seemed fine since. I am just worried about him because he just lost his wife of nearly 60 years. I am scared I could end up loosing my mom and Granddad too. I guess eventually I will, I just hope it is a little delayed, not all in one year like you have had to deal with. My dad's dad is my last living grandparent at this time. My husband has no living grandparents. Both of us still have both of our parents though. I have been thinking about that. I guess that is the way it is in middle age.

    Answer by AprilD32 at 11:47 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

  • really I have to say that any and all behavior is "normal" during grief.People will act in ways you would never imagine, and they wouldn't either.Anyone who says it is wrong, has obviously not had someone close to them die, because really you see lots of different stuff.Hang in there and sorry for your loss.When my mom died, we had everything from the dignified mourner to the drunk aunt on the casket-I watched it all like it was a reality show.sorry hon.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • In all honesty, yes that happens.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

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