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3 Bumps

At what age do boys need their father more than their mother?

I was told by a psychologist that a boy around the age of 10 obviuosly needs to be spending more time with the father than the mother... But no real reason was given- besides puberty and I guess questions about sex- why would that be important? I never considered that at certain ages one parent is "more important" than the other...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I have all girls, but here is a bump for you!
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I think as boys start to enter puberty they need a man around for questions that will embarass them if they have to ask their mom.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 1:58 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I think boys aways need both parents. Equally.
    lga1965

    Answer by lga1965 at 2:00 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I think parents always need their parents equally. My son is 12 and when he has questions about sex he comes to me, not his dad (my ex). I have answered his questions, but added that he might want to talk to his dad to get a guys point of view - he said no way! So I suggested he might want to talk to my husband, and he did.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:04 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I have 2 boys and they have always wanted their dad just as much as me; yes when they get hurt they come to me but otherwise they want dad for certain things
    Christmaslver68

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 2:13 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I think the father is important around that time, but I don't think spending less time with mom would be a good thing. Why would he suggest that? I'm the kind of mom that gets dirty and plays football and hockey with my sons. I understand that boys need a mans point of view regarding sex, and they need man time to learn "man rules" and stuff, but I also feel they need a woman's point of view just as much on pretty much everything. I don't want my boys to be mama's boys, but I do want them to know that women should hold value to them in all parts of life....not just for sex.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 2:21 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I don't think it's really about being "more important." Nor do I think there's a specific age tied to it. And frankly, I also don't think it's gender biased. My son is 9. DH and I have been equal parts of his life from the get-go. I'm with the kids more hours of the day than DH simply based on work schedules. DS will come to me when he's a bad day, when he's got questions, for homework, when he's upset or not feeling well. He also looks to me to play football with him and to practice his karate or ride bikes, etc. On the other hand, he's just as content to hang out with dad doing things together and getting Dad's input. Fwiw - so does my daughter.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:27 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • Well, I took a psychology class last semester and the concept is very Freudian. And I personally think he was a lunatic. But, his theories and research led him to believe that children undergo very distinct and specific stages of development. He found that in one stage children are drawn more to their same sex parent and in another stage they are drawn more to the opposite. And alot of his findings are used and supported by modern psychology.

    I do believe that it is true that at certain points in a childs life they will need or gravitate toward one parent more that the other. But I wouldnt worry about it being at a specific time. Let him go to who he wants and make sure you are both available. Let nature take its course.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 3:53 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • I would think every stage ~
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:25 PM on Feb. 8, 2012

  • My 9 year old is starting to pull away from me a bit-but he still enjoys hanging out with me from time to time. Perhaps your son just needs a little extra (though not necessarily more than with you) time with dad so he can start connecting with his masculinity through his dad on a deeper level. I think it's just a developmental/age thing-but boys will ALWAYS need their moms!
    purplerobin

    Answer by purplerobin at 2:48 AM on Feb. 9, 2012

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