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My husband and I are considering foster care hopefully leading to adoption. I was wondering if you all had any advice. We live in Fraser, Michigan. Did you have good experiences?

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Asked by dlp at 4:09 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (8)
  • I think it really depends on where you live, how old the sitter is and what you are expecting of them. Many nanny services charge about $12 an hour plus an additional $2 an hour per child. If we have someone for a couple of hours for our 1 year old, we pay 25.

    Answer by 2kidsisperfect at 4:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • My husband and I have been foster parents for almost 4 years. I don't know if you currently have kids or not, but decide beforehand if you want to be age limited. We didn't want any older than our son, who is now 13, but younger was fine, until we got my 2 year old nephew. He didn't do well with foster children around his age, so we became a little bit more limited. We will do foster children between the ages of 5 and 11. We had one bad experience which made us stop for about a year, but we're back doing it and a couple of them could have led to adoption. There are just a lot of things to consider and talk to your kids about it. Make sure they are behind it or else you will have problems, not only with the foster kids, but also with your own. Also, make sure you have the support of your family if they live near you, it makes holidays so much easier - and babysitting.

    Answer by Wrestlingmom19 at 4:44 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Being adopted I can speak from experience. I was adopted at 5 weeks old in Detroit. All I can tell you is make SURE you stipulate the need to know medical history. I'm going to be 50 next month and have no idea of my medical history. I also have a friend who adopted 2 foster kids and after puberty pretty much all hell broke loose.....emotional and physical issues. Like me she had no idea of their medical history.
    Good luck to you.

    Answer by pistons58 at 5:33 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I am a foster parent and have adopted two out of the system. first I think I would say go into it planning on fostering. because many kids go home. you can not plan to adopt every child that comes into your home. it is better to foster and see where God leads the situation. you will know when the fit is right. foster is hard and heartbreaking but better my heart broken then some poor shild having no where to go. I have many great experiences with fostering and I could not imagine my life with out my adopted children.

    Answer by Lyndall at 2:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • We have been foster parents since 2004. We adopted our daughter through the state in 2007. She was 2 days old when she was placed with us and 15 months when the adoption is final. She was our 8th placement.

    Being from Ohio, my experiences might be a lot different from what you'd experience in Michigan, but make sure you stand up for yourself and state clearly what you will and will not take when it comes to fostering. Keep a good relationship with your worker and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

    Answer by mommytoadam at 5:36 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • Iam 21 and my parents took in foster kids our first placement was 2 girls 1.5 and 3 they were half sisters. we had them 3 yrs before the adoption began. We never planned on adopting them it was just we were the only family they ever had/really new. Us all being older now i realize id be lost without them. We had a great case worker and helped us all even us kids through the whole process and was there for my mom who has now My mom adopted as a single parent my father passed away a few months before it went final. She had 2 kids besides the 2 we adopted. Its a wonderful expirence but the kids do have problems.They are living and all have reached above what the doctors have expected. good luck

    Answer by mememecassie at 12:52 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • You should not go into fostering hoping to Adopt. You should only be a foster parent in the hopes of reunification of that child to his parents. That should be the goal in any CPS case. ( aside from certain cases of course ) If after reunification failed then you should hope to adopt that child not before that. I have seen of a lot of foster parents making it harder for reunification because they wanted to adopt the child. I live in Macomb county and I know there are a lot if cases that CPS takes Children away on made up charges. They ( CPS worker and judges ) get bonuses etc for adoptions. I am close with someone who deals with these types of cases regualarly. So Please if you want to adopt find an agency etc.You can try contacting the macomb county Adoption department. It's in the juvenile court building maybe they can help you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Sep. 19, 2008

  • Part 2
    Don't go into foster parenting for that reason you will either have your heart broken many times or you will make it harder for a mother ( and / or Father ) to get there child back after making a mistake.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Sep. 19, 2008

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