Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pregnancy Loneliness

I'm the first one of my friends to be married/pregnant and I feel like everyone's pretty much just abandoned me. They rarely call me or try to include me in things, it's like I have a disease suddenly all because I'm pregnant. It's depressing for me to go to Facebook or MySpace and see all their group partying/fun pictures posted up when in a typical pregnant week my most exciting moment is getting the mail. Did anyone else experience this or are currently experiencing this and do you all think a lot of it is my crazy pregnancy emotions or do some people really just get hands-offish when a friend is pregnant.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I know exactly how you feel. I was 28 when I got pregnant and all of a sudden I wasnt included in anything. I would get a bit jealous of hearing and seeing all the fun stuff everyone was doing that I was not while I was sitting there with my feet elevated because they were so swollen. But that wasnt the worst part of all of it. None of my friends are married like I am or have any kids like I do and as soon as I gave birth they just expected me to start hanging out all the time again, go to bars stay out late. None of them even had a clue what I was going through and why I didnt want to do any of it and I emotionally and phyisically couldnt. No one understood and it was so annoying. So you are not the only one going through this..... I am still working on making new friends who are intersted in things that "moms" do.
    Scoobersmom

    Answer by Scoobersmom at 11:36 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • No you are not alone in that feeling. I am 23 and if the friends I had pre baby don't have children of their own they pretty much aren't around anymore. But there are people I went to HS with that have children that seem to fill the void, if that is possible. So I guess my advice would to be find people or friends that have their own children or are expecting as well, that can share in the joy. And you crazy pregnancy emotions help as well!! And of course you have all of us here!! Just hang in there!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I went through that a couple of years ago. You definately find out who's really there for you and who's not. It's hard to go from hanging out all the time with friends to never. It definately showed me who i could count on and who i couldn't. Some people just don't know how their supposed to react to your news. They know you can't or at least shouldn't "party" so they don't know how to include you when thats what they do.
    kinzleysmommy

    Answer by kinzleysmommy at 9:02 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I had the same problem!!! But guess what? they're aren't real friends if they can't hang out with you just because you're pregnant, I know its really hard to be all alone for 9 months, but we're here!! once i went back to work i started going out more, but now i realise that i would rather spend my free time with my daughter...hang in there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I went through this when I had my kids. I think most of us do. Just realize that some people come in your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. It looks like these friends were in for a reason or a season. I would suggest looking into pg groups, mom and me groups, etc, as a way to meet some new friends who are at the same place in life that you're at.

    Also, once these friends start having kids, then they might want to start hanging out again, but again, keep in mind, by that point, YOU might not want to be hanging out with them...
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:44 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Something else though, if you are truly wanting to try to salvage the friendships, then maybe invite them over/ ask to get together for lunch or to a movie or something like that. See what they say / do. Because maybe they just don't know how to include the new "Mommy You", especially if their normal way of hanging out with friends is partying, drinking, etc.

    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:47 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • people I thought were my friends did this to me and now,I do not see any of them.My best friend stuck by me.I was also the first of my group to do the "baby dance" and I felt so old lol.But I wasn't old, I was just ready before them.Let them know you're still you, just w/a baby and if they still leave you out, start looking for other moms.Hqang in there hun.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:51 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I was 17 when i got pregnant so of course I went through this. My friends were out enjoying their senior year and I was worried about what I was going to do with a baby. But going through this will make you find your true friends- the ones who will stand by you through anything. Good luck to you!
    momof2_july

    Answer by momof2_july at 9:54 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN