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How far apart would you recommend spacing kids (from personal experience) and why?

My hubby and I have 2 children. My DD is 5 and our DS will be 8 months old tomorrow. My husbands side of the family encourage us to have the children close in age. They wanted us to get pregnant when DS was only 6 months old. My family however are opposed to us having any more children because they say 2 is enough and with the economy being the way it is, yadda yadda..( My husband has a very good and secure govt. job.) We do not like the idea of having them as far apart as my DD and DS (they're 4 years apart) but I'm wanting to hear experiences from you ladies :)

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Asked by eku_mommy at 10:11 AM on Jan. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (33)
  • 3 years apart worked for us. Only one in diapers at at time, and only one year overlap when they were in college- only one year when both were in college, and we'd saved enough to cover that.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:15 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • We have two children. They are 4 yo and and 23 months (actually he'll be 2 yo on Monday). We got some varying responses from friends and family. My BIL was the most out spoken and negative about us adding our second child. We didn't care what anyone had to say about it. It's our family and it's our choice. We love the fact that our boys are 2 years and one month apart. They have become great friends. Dylan was 2 when his brother was born and he was such a fantastic big brother and still is!! For us, the age difference has worked out perfect!! Dylan loves his brother so much and loves to "protect" him. :) To each their own, but I could not imagine waiting until Dylan was 4 or 5 to have another. Don't listen to your family. If you are ready for another baby, then do it. It's your family. But good luck! It's your choice!!

    Answer by boizmom at 10:21 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Well I dont recommend the way mine are at all 17m (1and 2) and 12m(2 and 3) I think 2yrs is good that is how it is for my sister and it works perfect. She has 2 in school right now and one at home. But she has always had a easy time with them the oldest really helped her with her youngest because he would tell her nono when she would do something wrong or he would feed her a bottle in the car or even at home he would hold it for her so my sister could get things done. And he is a very intelligent little boy now. But anyway sorry but like I said I wish mine would have been 2yrs apart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • We plan on waiting until our daughter is three and a half or so before we start trying again. So then the next will be four or five years younger. I think whatever works for you is what's best, some people prefer to have their kids extremely close together, others don't. I prefer to have one out of diapers already before having another one, know what I mean?

    Answer by caitxrawks at 12:16 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • My first two are 3 years apart. Oldest DD was very comfortable being the only, and it was a difficult transition (actually, she's never gotten over not being an only, and still resents my middle DD)

    My last is only 22 months younger than the middle. That was a super-easy transition. Middle DD was still malleable enough not to resent her little sister. Yes, I had two in diapers for a while, but that was not a big deal. I love how close the little ones are.

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 12:29 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • my DS is 18 mo. right now and he's such a handful that I cannot imagine chasing after him while being pregnant again. I am in no hurry to have another child. Sometimes I get that baby fever when I hold newborns, but then I have to think rationally and logically that its not right for us. We'll probably re-evaluate the situation when he's fully 2 because then he'll be almost 3 when another baby comes. (but in the meantime I'm not on b/c and we're doing natural family planning)

    Obviously I dont have 2 kids to base things off of, just my own opinion. But there are days I wish DS had a sibling to keep him occupied! Id say thats the best thing about kids close together.

    Answer by smitten119 at 12:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Mine are 15 months, 13 months and 3 1/2 years apart and I preferred the 1 year difference. My oldest was 6 months when I got pregnant with my 2nd. Then he was 4 months when I got pregnant with my 3rd. When my oldest turned 2 her brother was almost 9 months old and I was 4 months pregnant.
    They are 8, 7 and 6 now and I wouldn't have it any other way.
    My youngest was almost 3 when I got pregnant with the 4th one and almost 3 1/2 when I had her and it sucked beyond belief. She was still in diapers for months after the baby was born and was so jealous of the baby. Now she is almost 3 and has grown up super fast to keep up with her siblings. She doesn't play with toddler toys any more (she wanted Barbies for Christmas). Mostly she is alone, though, because they are in school or they don't want to play with her because she's a "baby". I feel bad for her.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • 26 months was perfect for us, my son, potty trained right away. He was old enough to understand being gentle and the "job" of big brother.

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 1:15 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Well... lol I have 5 kiddos. Boy 16, girl 15, girl 13, boy 2, and girl 1. The 2 oldest are 13 months apart, the youngest 2 are 11 months apart. If I could afford it, I probably would have had 1 more. I'm very lucky that my husband has a well paying job and can provide for all of us. It's alot of work and can be hectic, but very well worth it. :)

    Answer by Cal311 at 1:18 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • mine are 18 months apart, that is not how we planned it but am glad our next one hopfully will be when my oldest is 5 and my daughter is almost 4

    Answer by ckmom0612 at 1:36 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

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