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How would you ladies deal with this type of situation?

My aunt is pretty much a mother to me since my mother died when I was 11. I love her dearly and respect her. I am very close to my other family as well. My husband and I haven't dared to tell them that our second child was planned. (My DD is my hubby's step daughter) I was in nursing school and my hubby had already graduated with a degree in Forensic Science. And they insisted we wait. Why? I believe your ready when your ready. ANYWAYS...we are considering have a third and last child. I am on hold from nursing school due to the fact that i'm BFing. I plan on starting back and the idea of me changing my major (because they said nursing makes too much money for me to pass up) OR even having another baby is a big no no to my family. How can I get them to leave me alone? We are making good money and can afford them.

 
eku_mommy

Asked by eku_mommy at 10:21 AM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • I know the feeling of being pressured one way or the other. Perhaps it isn't even necessary to come up with how or what to tell them. When you are pregnant just announce it and be happy. If there are recriminations, which there shouldn't be, then smile and say that you respect them and appreciate their input and that you and your husband considered all aspects of the situation and decided that this was best for you. As far as your question about how to get them to leave you alone, from what I can tell from your message, you are intelligent and very caring about your family. As difficult as it may be, my advice is to let them enjoy their bossiness. They are enjoying loving you and your family and urging their thoughts onto you, let them dream and think and advise. In the end hug them and love them and do as you think best. :)
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:55 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • You just have to them. It's your life and you and your family are doing what is best for you and not anyone else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • gently and sweetly tell your aunt that you understand her concerns but you really feel it is time for another child if she objects tell her she can say I told you so later if you are sorry but until then she will just have to wait. Then you need to explain that nursing is a tough career( I know I am one( and many nurses get into it for the wrong reason if your heart isn't in it you will not be a great nurse you can be good but you won't be great and you will get burned out. You have to have a career that suits you. Nursing isn't for everyone. many nurses only work for a few years because they get burned out. maybe another field would be better for you.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 10:26 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Well, IMO, this is your life and you and your husband are living it and its really none of anyone's business whether you have 1,2 or 10 children. You are old enough to make up your mind and do the things you want. I am sure from what I have read that if you couldn't afford another child or didn't want another one, you wouldn't. They don't pay your bills and they don't live your life. Not everyone is going to be happy in life no matter what happens, so never live your life because of what someone else says.Life is too short to worry, so stop. Next time just tell them that when they pay your bills and live your life then they can have a say in it. The ones that love you will understand, the others, who cares.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Just be upfront w/ them.. Its YOUR life. YOUR body. YOUR family.. You don't have to answer to anyone.. IF your aunt loves you as her child she will still love you weather you decide to have another baby or not.. This is a decision between YOU and YOUR husband.. NOT your whole family.. Good luck!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:28 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • just do it. if it feels right who cares what anyone else thinks. im actually kinda going through the same thing with my mom. my husband and i are getting a 5 bedroom house thats going to be rent to own. its total is 3000 feet and with the same rent we are paying now for a 3 bedroom apt of 1000 feet. my mom had a total fit saying we dont need something that big that we should find something smaller. and i told her no this is something we are not going to pass up. its has pretty much everything we wanted in a house and its location is great. i pretty much stopped calling her, she calls me then starts bitching about the house we are getting and i say oh hey i got to get the kids. cause i dont want to hear it. she eventually get the hint that its not her life or her choices and she will get over it.
    bonnie-jo

    Answer by bonnie-jo at 10:34 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I would just be direct and say "although we appreciate any advice you give us, it's just that, advice and we listen to it and think about it and then we make a decision that works best in our plans or way of doing things".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:46 AM on Jan. 17, 2009

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