Would you send him to a boarding school?

I"ll try to keep this short as possible, 15 yr old son been in trouble since 5th grade, kicked out of elementary went to metro school, always in trouble in middle, been arrrested for graffiti, now a freshman and is cutting, failing, using marjuana, grounding, preaching nothing has worked he wont listen or learn so I have found a place called Oneida baptist institute in eastern KY that is more of an oppurtunity than a punishment..it will only be $100 a month, google and read, they have jobs, structure, 11 kids per class...not a boot camp, I"m all for it to get him away from his trashy friends and maybe go here and grow up some, now to talk hubby in to it and then how do I FORCE my son to go without a fight or refusing? I"m at the end of the line here, enough is enough and atleast I can say I tried instead of throwing him out at 18

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Feb. 10, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

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Yes, I would do it. I would give him one more chance - tell him that you want him to go to this school and show him the school, explain why you think it would be good for him. Then if he protests, tell him that you will let him stay where he is but if he gets in trouble then he goes to this school no questions. That's way, if he chooses to get in trouble, he's choosing the school - it's his choice.
I think it sounds like a good idea. Hard as a parent to not have them home at 15, but if it will straighten him out, then well worth it

Answer by missanc at 9:01 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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My first question is are they able to take in a child like that? Most boarding schools only accept the best of the best and they may not be able to deal with your son's behavior. Second, where do you see that it is only $100 per month? According to the website it is $565 a month.

Answer by JeremysMom at 9:02 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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Jeremys mom.. I called them and they willl accept him and they work on payment they asked our yearly income and since its 29,000 and we have 4 in household she said $100 a month.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:06 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
If you truly feel that this is what's best for your son (and I do mean that in sincerity, not in a snarky, "well, if you REALLY think you should...
" way) - anyway - if you really think that this is what's best for your son, and that it could help him (and it does sound like he needs help) then I would try this -

Sit down with your dh and show him the site, and talk to him about your concerns and how you want him to get out of a destructive environment with his friends, basically just as you explained it to us. Talk to him about how 100 a month is nothing, compared to possible future legal bills, etc, let alone the emotional cost of a child possibly in jail or dead...

Then, if / when he gets on board with it, you don't worry about convincing your son. You put your foot down, he's going - it's not open for discussion or debate. Even if you have to put his butt in the car and take him, it won't be his choice.

cont

Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:06 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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If he doesnt want to go he will just do whatever he has to to get kicked out. At this point you can try but if he gets thrown out send him to a group home.

Answer by gemgem at 9:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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cont

In fact, you could tell him flat out that
1) You love him very much, and that means you love him enough to no longer stand for him trying to destroy his life - even if it means he hates you.
2) HE made his choices when he chose to act the way he has been, and to do the things he's been doing. Now, it's YOUR choice to not put up with it. And that, frankly, if he keeps going down this path, it won't be you (his parents) deciding to send him to boarding school for help, but it will be a judge and a jury that sends him to jail - and does he think he will have any say with THAT?

I know it's hard, but it really sounds like he needs some tough love - not to be horribly mistreated, but some tough love, kwim?

(((hugs))) - I really hope things work out with your ds!

Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:09 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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Oh, okay. I would give it a try then, but I would also have a backup plan (such as a boot camp) just in case.

Answer by JeremysMom at 9:10 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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My concern here would be if you force him- he may run when he gets there. I dotn knwo where you live but if its far, then he is lost in an unfamiliar place.

While I think the idea of the school is wonderful, I come from a small private school life and let me tell you that before I was enrolled there ( only because our church sponsored it), I went to huge public school and had no idea where to get drugs, who was a dealer etc. When I went to this wonderful Christian Private school, I knew exactly where to get what ever a person wanted (I didnt but I knew) AND when you limit money it does nto stop the ability to get you hands on it.

Think about this A LOT, tell your son he can choose to go there if he would like, he may jump right on it knowing it would be a fresh start. He already has a rep where he is at, he may feel hes trapped in it. Tell him you are NOT sending him away and its not because he is bad -cont

Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:12 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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it is because you love him you want to offer a new beginning for him. If he is set against it then let him know that next trouble, you turn him over to juvie and MEAN IT.
Good Luck, this is a hard place for any parent to be in. Please update us when

Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 9:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
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Has he had counselling at any point? been evaluated by a physician?
i'm curious as to what is going on in his life that he chose this path

Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:16 AM on Feb. 10, 2012
Credits: 252028 Level 47 Teens (13-17) Minor

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