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NEED ADVICE ON MARIAGE???

MY HUSBAND IS 25 YEARS OLD AND IM 23 YEARS OLD .WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER GOING ON 4 YEARS NOW. WE HAD OUR SON SEPTEMBER 2007 GOT MARRIED IN MAY OF 2008 . THINGS WHERE GOING GREAT WITH US I WAS ALWAYS HAPPY AND HE ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE.NOW THINGS HAVE GOTTEN TOUGH HE LOST HIS JOB WE LOST OUR PLACE AND RELOCATED TO NV (FROM OC)AREA WE ARE CURRENTLY LIVING WITH HIS AUNT TILL WE GET ON OUR FEET...BUT THINGS BETWEEN US HAVE NOT BEEN THE SAME HE DOES NOT ACT THE SAME AROUND ME I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A NOBODY AROUND HIM OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE SAME....INCLUDING OUR SEX LIFE....IM ALWAYS DEPRESSED AND I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO GET OUR RELATIONSHIP BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE...PLEASE HELP????

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aidensmama4life

Asked by aidensmama4life at 7:49 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like a stressful situation that you guys are in. Give things time to settle down and get back on your feet. In the meantime, try to be supportive of him even though it seems like a very hard thing to do when you are depressed yourself, and ask him to be supportive of you as well. If you have the option to try and find a job, maybe offering to do so will take some of the stress off your husband. If you feel that your depression is bad enough, please be sure to seek medical help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • He may be experiencing loss of self-esteem. Losing a job will do that to you. You lose your pride and your identity. He may be feeling guilty at no longer being able to support you or to provide a home. He needs extra support right now. Anything you can do to make him feel like a valuable contributor to your lives, any time he can be in charge. Don't treat him like a baby by any means, but let him know that you respect and appreciate him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:03 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Try to look at it that you're lucky to have family who's helping you out. Soon two of my kids will be done with college and I'm telling them to submit resumes all over not just to companies that are their favorites. Heck a job a Barnes and Noble or Toys R us can give ok money and benefits too and still allow time for job searching for the'perfect' job. In today world though I don't know if there's a perfect job. If hubby lost his job cuz of downsizing just keep reassuring him that it wasn't his fault. But let him know that you still need his help w/any kids or if your preggers. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • i'm sure he feels like a loser. you could encourage him and build him up. spend lots of time together and have dates nights. my hubby and i spent last weekend skateboarding and during errands and this weekend we went to a grand opening of the new equine center and went hiking. i have found that this extra time we have spent together has made me feel closer to him. also we have had sex just about everyday since new yrs. so that could be part of feeling closer to him as well. he doesn't know it but i'm just trying to get prego. he wants a baby so bad. i just want to really surprise him with the news.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 8:28 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Definately sounds like stress. He probably feels crappy like he can't provide for his family. I would just be extra supportive of him right now, encourage him however you can. Let him know that you're there for him no matter what. And hopefully once you get back on your feet, get into your own place again and get everything back in order, everything will be better.
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 9:04 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Be Supportive. It Works Wonders TRUST ME. Try To Help Build Up His Self Esteem, And In Return He Should Help With Yours. Its A Two Way Street.
    Kari_Noelle

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 1:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • He may feel he is a failure.Try sitting down and talking to him.Tell him how much you appericate him and tell him he is a good husband and father.Keep on telling him this.
    Jeffsmom87

    Answer by Jeffsmom87 at 3:59 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

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