Can my ex get a judge to order my child have his last name?

I am 4 months pregnant. I was engaged but my ex fiance' broke it off when he found out I was pregnant, he was told he "couldn't have children" and told me I cheated on him. I didn't cheat on him and two weeks ago, he went to the doctor who told him that he is perfectly able to have a child. He asked me back but honestly the damage had been done, after all the names he had called me like slut, whore, bitch and cunt and he tried to kick me out of MY HOME (it's a condo and I bought it before we got together) and at 3 months when, I miscarried one of the babies (it was twins) and he said "thank God but two bad you didn't lose both the bastards" there is no way I would ever be with him again, I could never trust him. Well now he is going into the military meaning he will be gone most of the time (it's Army and the closest Army post is 3 hours away from us). He told me that I HAVE to give the baby his last name, I told him since we are not married, I don't have to and now he is saying he will take me to court over it. If he does, can the judge order the last name to change to his? I would think that he couldn't change it without my permission but I have never heard of this happening. I think it's only right that the baby has my last name since he is not even here to help through the pregnancy. I am going to be the one doing everything for this kid, signing him or her up for school and activities, taking him or her to the doctor and dentist etc so it's easier for the baby to have my last name

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Feb. 13, 2012 in General Parenting

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Well since you are not married, you will fill out the birth certificate so you will chose the name. After that if he is tested and found o be the father he still would not be able to go and have the name changed, that would need your signature as well as his to do. I think he can try to have a judge order it, but honestly I doubt it would happen.

Answer by sheloveearth at 12:19 AM on Feb. 13, 2012
Credits: 5599 Level 18 General Parenting 101

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no way
you are not married to him
you as mother (in 48 of 50 states) have 100% rights until he files for rights to see his child
after all that he will NOT be able to force a name change

give your child YOUR last name

i was in relationship that was not great, but i gave my child her fathers name, now he is not around at all and i am trying ( along with other court stuff) to get her name changed to mine... i suggest to ALL unmarried women to have their childs last name their own

no marrige = no fathers last name (jmo)

he can NOT make court change it to his - zero chance
he may just time to visit - but when child is baby- little time away from mom AND he is away in military- so less chance of time

good luck, stand your ground, remember his asshole ways if he turns 'nice'- assholes do not change they just pretend to change

his threats are empty---hugs and congrates on baby

Answer by fiatpax at 12:24 AM on Feb. 13, 2012
Credits: 114883 Level 39 General Parenting Minor

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Girl...don't you DARE take that man back or listen to a word that pig is telling you.

No, YOU will fill out the birth certificate, and YOU would have to consent to have it changed...if you say no, the answer is no.

And I agree with you. If he ditched you and didn't find it necessary to try to make a real family with you, I think you should give the baby your last name. I know people say "He is the child's father", but no...if he wanted to have a family, he would have made you all a family instead of pulling the crap he pulled!

Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:28 AM on Feb. 13, 2012
Credits: 69181 Level 34 General Parenting Major

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You are 100% doing the right thing!! (((hugs))) mama... I would think these ladies are correct. Stick your ground!!

Answer by Crafty26 at 12:52 AM on Feb. 13, 2012
Credits: 75808 Level 35 General Parenting Minor

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I don't know to answer your question. If you are wanting to get C/S from him, it might be wise to have his last name, otherwise if not and you absolutely do not want him to be a part of the child's life then you are doing what you feel is right. If I were you, speak to an attorney.

Answer by brieri at 2:20 AM on Feb. 13, 2012
Credits: 4542 Level 17 General Parenting 101

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A judge actually can order you to change the child's last name if he takes it to court, but may give the option to hyphenate. It's actually very common that this happens.

Answer by laird6372 at 2:26 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
Credits: 5786 Level 18 General Parenting Minor

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