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how do i get my almost 4 yr old girl to listen to me?

she does not listen to me much at all. i tell her not to do something because it is dangerous or because she just shouldn't do it and she doesnt listen. everyday there is something that she cries about or screams about whether if she wants to be the first one up the stairs when we get home if my other daughter goes first she screams. and cries. i feel like she in a way is running the household. how do i take control? i feel she needs psychological help. someone please help

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (2)
  • You need the help, not her. She is 4 years old. You are the parent. You tell her to do something, if she doesn't, make her. She wants you to be consistent with her. She wants you to be in control. That will make her feel safe and make her listen better. If you don't take control you are setting her up for a lot of trouble in the future.

    I too have a 4 year old. She is a difficult child, but she listens. She may yell and holler all the way to do what I told her to do, but she does it.


    Answer by yakara77 at 9:57 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • If you tell her not to do something because it's dangerous, then she proceeds to do it and NOTHING happens - she has only learned that dangerous means NOTHING. So to her, it is a false threat...choose your words wisely - tell her not to do something because it's a bad choice and then give her both a consequence that's logical (and that you can follow through on) and a choice that's good - give her alternatives that she CAN do.

    Yakara77 is correct - you need to remember that you are the mom and you need to be in control. If she is not listening to you, stop what you are doing and look her in the eyes - make sure she has eye contact with you and THEN tell her what you want her to hear and have her repeat it. Always be consistent with consequences and never make false threats...

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:04 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

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