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What should I do when a child lies on my child?

Most of my friends are mothers and our children are all 8 and under. Sometimes when we have kids over, a child will lie on my child. How should I handle this?

For example, we had a birthday party today and child displayed an inappropriate behavior. My child told me and the child's mother. The other child then said my child pushed her. I honestly didn't believe child did it. I did talk to her about how we treat friends. The other mother took no action.

After the party, my other child was telling me about the inappropriate behavior the other kid did. I asked if his sister hit the other girl and he said no. He had no reason to lie, because my kids actually love to snitch each other out. He would have told me what his sister did, and has done so before.

This is not the first time this has happened or the only child this has occurred with. How do I handle it when it comes up?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Kids playing together in groups often get into various types of disagreements and "inappropriate behavior". It is hard to know how to address it when you don't specify what it is....but if it is normal kids stuff---I would focus on teaching the kids how to deal with it rather than by tattling. The tattling sort of brings out the "lying" behavior as the kids defend themselves and retaliate. I would redirect the conversation when the kids try to tattle by reminding them of the type of behavior that is expected (sharing, cooperation, politeness....). I don't think it is usually a good idea to tell mothers that their kids are lying...they usually don't take that very well. If you really have issues with certain kids and their parents, just minimize your time with them.

    Answer by BJoan at 2:55 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I would have a talk with the child's mother. It's kind of tricky because some mothers won't believe that their sweet little angels could do something wrong. But it needs to be addressed.

    Answer by amethystrse at 10:11 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • It's so awkward, though. And people get really sensitive when it's their kids you are talking about. I usually let it go because we don't see these kids that much, just birthdays and such, but still. Is it worth addressing? Should I let it go?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • i would let it go.u dont see them a lot so i wouldnt make a big deal out of it.

    Answer by momof3grls4517 at 12:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • This happened to my DS two years ago. He plays soccer and one of the girls on another team accused my DS of throwing a rock and hitting her in the face. Come to find out (from 3 other kids & 2 parents), my son was on the field at the time! & I posted this ? recently because the girl lives 5 min. away from me & her mom works @ a local dollar store & when I'm there, she refers to my older 2 kids as bad & mean & only fusses over my youngest DD. Long story short, a mom suggested that the next time I'm there and she says this again, say, "my kids aren't mean or bad, but how's your little liar doing?" lol. I haven't been there or seen her lately, but I plan on it if it happens again. I agree it needs to be addressed & if nothing comes of it, you might think distancing yourself & her children from you & yours & see how that goes. GL!


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Raise your own kids and mind your own business. I promise I don't mean that cruel... but there are so many mothers out there whose child "can do no wrong"..... this is literally kid stuff..... you did the right thing by reinforcing good values in your child.... but let this one go or you'll have moms talking about you because they think that YOU think YOUR child "can do no wrong". I just don't think any mother is going to take it well when you call her child a liar... IMO it's better to take the high road on this one.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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