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IM MARRIED TO THIS MAN AND IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER, I AM A CHRISTIAN WHAT SHOULD I DO?

THIS MAN IS A PERSON WHO VERBALLY ABUSES ME WITH HIS WORD, NO COMMUICATION, VERY CONTROLLING, AND CURSES ALL THE TIME. AS FOR THE OTHER MAN IS A MAN I DATED I LEFT HIM FOR THIS ONE FOR THE WRONG REASONS BUT I STILL LOVE THIS MATTER, HE TREATED ME RIGHT, HE CARES ABOUT MY FEELINGS, AND HE LOVES ME ALSO AND ALWAYS WILL . I WAS HAPPY WITH HIM . HE WAS THE MAN FOR ME. IM CONFUSED. HELP!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Divorce him then. You need to end everything with your hubby first before getting into another relationship.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • This is a decision only you can make. Being married is a life decision, but if he is truly being abusive you should try to get him help. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and you left the other man for a reason. Not sure why, but you did. I don't know how long you've been married or if there are children involved, but seeking out a cousler for the both of you would be my first option. Only you will know what the right thing is. I wouldn't tolerate someone being verbally abusive, but if I loved him I would want to get him help. Good Luck.
    ChefBoyRDee

    Answer by ChefBoyRDee at 11:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • If your husband is abusive, you should divorce him. Period.
    As for this other man.... you're in love with him... that's fine. BUT, you shouldn't persue a relationship with him until you're divorced. IMO, anyways. There's no excuse for screwing around.

    So... if I were you, I'd file for divorce... move out....have some "me" time to get closure from the marriage/divorce.... THEN persue a relationship with this other man. If you go into it still all hung up in your marriage... it's chances aren't good.

    G'luck to you!
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • Talk with your minister. Tell him or her what you have told us.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 11:10 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • if your unhappy i would leave but not sure i would jump into another relationship so soon. divorce would have to be final with me.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:34 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • I don't think God would want you with an abuser but just in case I'm wrong, just ask Him. The Bible says He will guide us. Ask Him to guide you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:40 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • If the other guy treated you so great etc, then why'd you leave him? Being a Christian, it's a tough choice since divorce is against most religions unless he's commited adultry. I don't mean to sound mean but I think this is one of those bad karma things. You dumped the great guy and ended up getting just the type of man that would be with someone while they were involved with someone else. Any man that would do that doesn't have much morals to start with. I do feel bad for you tho and would do as some of the others have suggested and talk to your minister about it, but I doubt he's going to say "sure, dump the husband for the other guy".
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:45 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE You don't want to commit adultery and if things are as bad as you say get your divorce first.
    Divamom316

    Answer by Divamom316 at 11:50 PM on Jan. 17, 2009

  • well first if your SO is abusive, no matter the abuse, you need to leave him... give yourself some time to think, and if a few months after leaving SO.. and you still feel like the other guy is right, then go talk to him.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:52 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • The Bible tells a man to cherish his wife. If this man is avusing you, whether it is physially, mentally, or emotionally....he does not deserve you. You need to seek some sort of Christian counseling before you begin to make life changing decisions. This will give you an opportunity to talk out every step of how to handle the situation.

    First and foremost, no one should be a door mat for another person.
    Stand up for yourself.

    Secondly, you need to protect yourself. Make sure that you have resources that are available to you when you go through any decision.

    If the other man really loves you, then he will wait patiently for you to ease through the steps and find yourself again.
    I pray that this helps you.
    melissaDH

    Answer by melissaDH at 1:08 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

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