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I am looking for advice. I feel like I am yelling too much at my kids and that I lack the patience these days to cope with everyday things. How can I become a better more loving parent, when I feel like my patience has completly disappeared?

I have four children. Ages 9, 6, 3, 2. My two youngest demand all of my attention all the time. No one wants to play with each other they only want to play with me. I have a hard time leaving the two of them alone or they create all kinds of trouble. The fighting gets to me the most, and lately all I want to do id find a hiding spot which doesn't make things any better. I want to be the most loving and giving parent I can. But I am on empty. Can anyone help.

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colkrueger

Asked by colkrueger at 11:36 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • wow i think you are in a tough situation. the only thing that i could tell you is have them all play something together with you. a game or sing songs. if you have things to do play follow the leader. have them do what you do. and it never hurts to have them help. this could teach them to work together. kids love to feel useful plus it helps you get things done. i know they cant do dishes or laundry yet but let them throw things away and put up the small laundry items let them rearrange your canned foods make sure you tell them how good their doing. it would make them feel good knowing they help mommy. thats the best i can give you hun. i wish you good luck
    Jewelsmom4u

    Answer by Jewelsmom4u at 12:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • First, as soon as you feel it's getting to be too much, BREATHE...in through the nose, out through the mouth, in through the nose out through the mouth...if you are spiritual, attach a peace word to the out breath (Jesus, Namaste, Peace, Yes...whatever). Keep doing this and once you have calmed down enought, announce quietly but sternly that you are going to take a mommy time out - walk to your room and close/lock the door. Continue to breathe...when you are ready, go out and tell your children why you had to take a mommy time out and how they can help resolve the problem...If you can, call a family meeting and set down some rules about respecting your time and each other as well. Write down an agreement and have everyone of age sign it so that you can point to it when things are getting out of hand.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 1:56 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • The two young ones are so young....and the two older ones are competing for your attention, which is normal and understandable! I do think that you need to take some time for yourself or else you will be too depleted to be the kind of mother you want to be.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 4:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • you are not alone i feel the same some days i get total stressed and yell at my two boys ones 4 yrs 6mths the other 2 and 6 mths. i am a stay home mun. i find now my oldest is starting to shout too. i try to get out of room and take a deep breath. see these parents so calm, but are they.
    ann402

    Answer by ann402 at 4:31 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • well im a young mom with a 3yr old boy who has ADHD and ODD! and believe me i feel the same way at time but you need to take a few minutes to yourself when you start to get upset, put your child somewhere safe like in their room or in their booster seat and walk away and just take a few deep breaths. if you can have your husband help you and tell them that you need a bit of a break, cuz you need to know that when ur aggitated they can feel it too. so just take a moment ...or 2! and relax. it helps at times. its better then just lashing out at them and pulling ur hair out. you will be just fine. good luck!
    2momsandsuave

    Answer by 2momsandsuave at 5:43 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I think these are all good suggestions. I would really find a way to GET AWAY for a few hours by getting a sitter or getting the father of these kids to pitch in more before you find yourself in a worse situation. It is critical for mothers to take a break. It's hard to go away for four hours sometimes but maybe you could start with an hour and sit at the park or get a coffee or work out or visit a friend without kids! Look out for yourself. You have a three year old who I believe is at an age where they can begin cooperating with the others and playing either with them or alone. You can't always be the playmate and perhaps start sending the message. Staying home is a TON of work. Hang in there.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:10 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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