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Emotional Crying Fits Triggered By Everything?

Okay, I am an emotional person.. and i tend to fly off the handle when things get bad but i dont do it towards her.. but this isnt about me.. this is about my 3 year old little girl.. Here lately if you just tell her "No" she begins to cry getting upset and she has started to throw tantrums over silly little things like, she cant have a piece of candy.. I am praying that is this is just a phase and not something more serious.. But i really want to help her so shes not so upset all the time.. what can i do?


Asked by Passion_of_Fire at 11:50 PM on Jan. 17, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • my 3.5 year old is still doing it. It goes on and off for a while I'm noticing.
    I've learned a couple of things:
    1. got to learn to control my reactions too
    2. I NEVER give them what they want when they tantrum, even if I was pretty much going to give it to them b/f.
    3. I wait till they calm, pretty much ignoring.
    4. now that she is older and her reasons for doing it is also changing -- I remind her I cannot understand anything she says when she is crying and tell her that when she is calm we'll talk.
    5. HITTING IS AN AUTOMATIC TIME OUT-- NO and, ifs or buts
    its a phase part of learning what is and isn't okay and learning how to control the world and trying to deal with their own overwhelming feelings and frustrations that they can't express etc.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 7:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'm hoping it's just a phase bc my 3 yo does the same thing! She hates the words "No" and "It's time for a nap/bed"...She just flips out like it's the end of the world.

    Answer by misspriss_1987 at 12:11 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Start to explain to her that she controls how she feels. Do this when she's happy not having a "moment". It'll help her understand that she can choose to be happy or sad or mad. Good luck!!

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:57 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My 3 yr old does this too. It drives me crazy sometimes. He gets upset if his toy is not working the way he wants it to, or if I cut his grilled cheese sandwich and he does not want it cut. I usually try to change to mood, or subject. Or I will sit down with him and try to show him why it will not work his way (with his toys).
    I hope it is a phase too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • my two and a haf year old does that omg! she screams and crys over getting a dirty look and think dirty looks and yells is hitting she screams why u hit me i bet my neighbors think i abuse her if she falls she screams so hard that i get scared to pick her up thinking im gonna see something bad she looses her breath alot im thinking its a phase too i try to calm her down and talk to her too

    Answer by Have3Girls114 at 4:02 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • omg! or if someone said she did it about anything she screams and loses her breath "it wasnt me" even if it was her

    Answer by Have3Girls114 at 4:03 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Could you daughter be handling situations the same way she has seen you handle things? They often learn behaviors from watching how we handle things. Remain very calm when she has a tantrum. Tell her in a firm but calm voice what you expect and why. It's important to tell her how you want her to behave and reward her with a lot of praise when she handles a situtation without a tantrum. For the most part, I would not acknowledge her with any attention when she has a tantrum. This just reinforces the behavior. The tantrums become pointless when they receive no attention. Pretend you don't see her and go about your business. When she calms down praise her and tell her how much you like to see this behavior. The key is for her to see that good behavior gets good attention and negative behavior gets no attention. Good luck!

    Answer by Lisahi at 10:12 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My daughter has been like this her whole life. Before she learned to talk she would have these incredible meltdowns including crying screaming hitting her head on things...Over hearing no, or cutting a sandwich into triangle instead of rectangles, etc. As a one year old she would collapse on the floor and weep if you frowned and said no is a calm voice.

    Now that she is verbal, it helps if we stay calm and ask her (often repeatedly) how she feels, what made her angry, etc. Also we bought her a punching bag to use when she gets overwhelmed or frustrated.

    Answer by cedailey at 4:57 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Wow! that sounds like my 3 year old boy! he does the same darn thing!!! unfortunatly im working on the same thing right now, but my little method for him is when we are at home and he throws a fit for sumthing silly like mom saying no i then walk him/carry him to his room and he can cry and throw his tantrum in there. for a while when i started doing this his fits would last forever but now he will throw his tantrum for a bit then when he realizes that mommy isnt paying attention to him he will open his door and come out and he is no longer crying. its not much but its progress. as for him being out in public i try to redirect his attention to other thing that he likes. for example when we are at the grocery store i take him to the veggie section and get him a carrot or a grape and i try making him count to 10 with me or sing his abc's it helps a little but not every time.

    Answer by 2momsandsuave at 5:35 PM on Jan. 18, 2009