Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Please help-failure to protect

My son's and foster son's Mom just got some paperwork and the first reason they want to take away her rights (she would rather religuish, she doesn't want he state to take her rights away again) was "failure to protect."

It never happened! When she was in prison and discovered she was pg again, she immediately put a plan together for him. I have letters to prove it. She planned for him to be with us and his brother literally from day one. We had to work with the prison and the hospital to take him home legally. Where is the failure to protect?

Should I write a letter to the judge with copies of the letters? She does not want that in the record. She has owned up to every bad thing she has ever done, she doesn't deserve this. Why are they making things up?

She is doing so well...working consistently, meetings, she has not missed one visit (we had to fight for those too). The baby was so sick this week and in the hospital (doing well now) and that was a fight too. The hospial social worker could not reach ours, it was a friday, and didn't want to let her in. I had tot really push hard for her to see our sick baby. This is too hard! They are all trying to make her worse then is fair. People change! I hope they don't push her too far, a person can only take so much. The boys need her. She needs them.

Sorry I am frustrated and ranting

Answer Question

Asked by adopteekjt at 9:53 AM on Feb. 14, 2012 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,995 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • First, let me commend you for doing all the right things by the baby's mama. The only thing that comes to mind is that she's admitted to using drugs, alcohol, and/OR she didn't get prenatal care in a timely manner. These are just guesses. You likely won't get them to change the wording of the document, but if she's wanting to relinquish, why hasn't she already? Waiting on dad's rights to be terminated first? Probably a wise decision on her part, and it actually protects you and the baby as well. If her rights are terminated or relinquished first, the father can try to have the baby removed from you or at least that's how I understand it.

    Lastly, you can encourage her that SHE HAS COME A LONG WAY and this wording chances NOTHING about her progress. Good luck to you and her. :)

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:11 AM on Feb. 14, 2012

  • ty Doodlebopfan,

    The father thing was sticky (usually is). I heard her say the name and turned it into the social workers. It was our first arguement. :o) but I didn't want future issues. They cannot find him so far, but are going through the process.

    They keep putting of giving her the religuishment paperwork. I was informed by our last social worker (they always change) that they might not accept if even if she does. Have you ever heard that before? They seem to want to take away her rights. I and she know she has a rocky, to say the least, past, but with this baby she has tried to do everything right.

    Comment by adopteekjt (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Feb. 14, 2012

  • *this wording CHANGES nothing......

    Wish there was an edit reply screen, sorry.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:24 AM on Feb. 14, 2012

  • It makes sense that they want to terminate, especially if this her 2nd (or more) child taken into care. I know of several cases where the parents "voluntarily" relinquished, but the state had so much evidence regarding terminating their rights that the judge will decide to TERMINATE (which supercedes the voluntary relinquishment) & have it on record because it gives the state much more legal recourse regarding future children that may come into care.

    Also, in my state, the law used to be that once you were ever terminated on, that every subsequent child was taken from the hospital into foster care, however, that changed in the last couple of years and now EACH child has to have their own abuse/neglect case opened in order to remove them. This actually gives the parent the benefit of the doubt for future children. They are no longer "punished forever" for their past actions, but they still have to change their future ones.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:54 AM on Feb. 14, 2012

  • See if you can google your state's definition of Failure to Protect. If not, call a family law attorney. They usually do a free consult. They may answer your questions over the phone.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:57 AM on Feb. 14, 2012

  • How sad for everyone. You can advocate for her documents to be part of the record but if it can't you still have the information so your children will know the truth. I'm sorry, it is unfair and not right. Many times procedures are done in what we call "cookie cutter" plans. Everyone goes through the same interventions and the same termination process. I personally hate this and generally speak out against it. It's like hitting a brick wall sometimes. But as long as you preserve the information your children are sure to come to better conclusions later in life about what the true time line of facts are.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:24 AM on Feb. 16, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.