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Does anyone remember their parents fighting growing up...does any fight in front of the kids??

My husband and I have no respect for each other. We fight all the time and now my kids are witnessing the fighting( ages 4 and 2). I feel so guilty! I feel this is very damaging to them. We had a huge fight last night and my daughter was terrified. I keep telling him it's time to go our separate way. He refuses to leave and I don't think I should have to pack up me and the kids and leave. I can't stand him! He uses the kids as pawns to stay in my life and make me miserable. I want him to just leave before this causes anymore damage! can anyone relate?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • That is all I remember growing up was my parents fighting but it was more severe. The kind that requires cops. I don't argue in front of my kids now because I know how much it scared me. Your kids are yound enough that they will be resilient to what they saw last night and even if it's been going on for awhile. But please don't continue this. Ask the kids to go to their room. I'm not saying ya'll should split up but either try to work out the relationship or do what you need to do. But the kids don't need to be in the middle of it.
    momofpurebliss

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 12:14 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • yes we do fight. but just little bickers in front of her.shes 3. when we get into our big arguements we go in another room and if she walks in we stop. my parents had big aruments when i grew up and i hated it. i dont want that for my daughter
    vadasmom

    Answer by vadasmom at 12:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • momofpurebliss: the cops have been here before...it's horrible! did your parents ever split? do you have psychological or emotional problems from seeing your parents fight?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'm very seldom for divorce, but your only other choices are at the first raised voice, walk away and tell him we're not doing this, I dont' want our kids scared and scarred for life. Write me a letter if you need to, but no more yelling in front of the kids and marriage councelling.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I don't remember any fighting or one significant fight between my parents growing up, but i do believe that fighting in front of the children is bad for them. It freaks them out and they don't know what the heck is going on! If i were you (just my opinion) I would refrain from fighting in front of them. Maybe there is somewhere else in your house where you and your husband can go to fight about matters that will not involve the children. Also, if your husband loves the kids, he will respect the fact that the two of you should not be fighting in front of them. It can scar them for their lifetime.
    krusecat22

    Answer by krusecat22 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My parents finally divorced once I turned 18 so I went through this a long time. I do have problems with depression/ anxiety but I don't want to scare you as that was from my own experiences. But now I don't handle conflicts well at all.
    momofpurebliss

    Answer by momofpurebliss at 12:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My parents really never fought, but I watch my aunt and uncle go through it a lot when I was little (when I lived with them). I think if you are serious about it, then you need to go to the court house and file for divorce... taking him to court for the house IMO is the only way your going to get anything out of it. I know it's going to get a lot worse for awhile, but in the long run, you have to do what you feel in your heart is right. Good luck.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My parents fought all the time. It was scary at times. My dad would throw and break stuff...I always told myself when I have kids I will never fight in front of them. And I have kept my word. Don't get me wrong hubby and I fight, but we don't do it in front of the kids and we don't yell. I refuse to put my kids through that...that's why I don't visit my parents very often- my dad will get mad over the dumbest things and start going crazy.
    xBuriedx13

    Answer by xBuriedx13 at 12:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I remember lots of fights when I was a kid. I hated it. I sometimes argue with my hubby but I try to do it away from the kids usually. I've never had a fight like the ones I witnessed in front of my kids.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:51 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • i only had my mom and my old brother... he is almost 10 yrs older... but when they used to fight i would close my eyes really tight and cover my ears i hated it the screamin and yelling and slaming things.... yeah i think its damaging... even to this day yellin makes me scraed but i will yell back when i have too.... my husband and i will be mad for hours... when the kids go down the claws come out... we do not yell and fight in from of our 2yr old...at all.... or if it is somthing that cant wait till bed time we will turn on her fav movie and we will out into a diff room and watch our yellin and just try to talk or go out back and do what we have to out there...
    Dayna-Marie

    Answer by Dayna-Marie at 2:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

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