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My husband is abusive physically and emotionally to me.

I know the story and what I need to do. Right now I am "hiding out" from him in a hotel room. I tried to get an apartment today for the kids and I. I am ready to simply walk away from the house and let him have it all. I just want to start fresh. Still, he won't just let me go. I know he is sick so why do I feel like the crazy one? I feel that he is going to ultimately win. The other night I fled my home and called the police because he had hit me and punched me in the stomach, bitten my lips and nose, called me horrible names etc. The police didn't take him because I didn't show any signs of injury and he lied to them, stating he didn't do anything. I am going nuts. I need to gain my strength and get out of the house. Any support or suggestions are more than needed here.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I'm sorry you are going through this. Keep your eye on the prize...a beautiful, stable, fun and healthy life for you and your children. He won't "win" unless you let him. Let the police know what is going on...that he is abusive and that you are leaving. That way, if he tries anything they will be already aware of the situation. You can do this. You are strong! Good luck and feel free to message me if you ever want to talk about it.

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 12:20 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I feel so bad for you, but I don't understand then not taking him. Here where I live, if the call is made, someone is going to jail (usually not the one that called). I don't know how you didn't have any marks. When my 3 yr old bites my other child, there's a mark there for several hours. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and will be saying extra prayers for all of the women amd cjo;drem I've been seeing on here and hearing about in the rest of the world that are being abused by the people that are supposed to love them the most.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:28 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Wow, I cant believe the olice didn't take him. Try to be strong for yourself and your kids. Look ahaed and don't go back, things are only going to get wrost.

    Answer by Yve538 at 12:38 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Girl if you need anyone to talk to pm me. This is a horrible situation, but you did the right thing by getting out of there... if you need to go to social services, they will help you with your abusive husband, but be sure to tell them that that is what is happening, they will help you relocate and get yourself off your feet. Try to keep away from contacting him in anyway shape or form... I know it'll be rough for awhile, but I think you are better off doing things this way.. if you need some things from the house, talk to social services and either they can give you a police escort to go with you, or they can have someone go and get your things. Good luck, and again, if you need anything at all, feel free to pm me. I wish you the best.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:39 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I was in this situation......Call the Police then a domestic violence shelter hon! Quick before he cuts you off from the $$. I would get myself to an ATM and withdraw as much as I could. AFter all its your joint accout right? Then go into a shelter.......the police will help you with this. Good luck and feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns.........HUGS!

    Answer by shebearncub at 12:42 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I Agree With shebearncub. You Called The Police The Other Night So You Should Get A Copy Of That Police Report Even Though They Didn't Take Him To Jail And Call A Domestic Violence Shelter They Can Give You Great Advice And Local Resources. Try:


    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 12:47 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Hang in there hun. You are a strong woman! I know you are scared. The uncertainty is overwhelming. You made a brave move and the RIGHT ONE. The road ahead will be terrifying at the moment. But just KNOW that you have to survive it. You have been caught up in a world of manipulation and control. You have to dig way down deep to muster up all that strength you had before you met him. But he will not win in the end. TRUST ME. Have faith and confidence. You are already on the right road. You have the key-- you are willing to walk away from everything! I am so proud of you. "Material things" are not worth anything. You and your kids deserve a LIFE. There are so many things you will need to do. Take it all one day at a time. The ladies on here have some great advice. You are not alone mommy. I'm here if you want to talk, just drop me a line. I've been there too.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 2:26 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Go to a shelter where they can advise you and keep you and your kids safe. Your safety is what is most important. You can follow with the legal stuff (restraining orders etc) later. Do not go back no matter what. Do you have a friend that your husband doesn't know, so you would be safe to stay there while you got advice? I'd handle this hour by hour and focus on the immediate. Men like your husband are dangerous. Hang in there, change your life tonight.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:48 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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