Ladies, I might be gone for a while...

Not because of going to Japan, but because of going to jail. I swear I am going to kill my husband!!!!! Even after having a ridiculously long discussion about his horrible spending habits (most of which I was crying during because my parents had to buy our kids diapers because I didn't have any money) he still went and spent almost $250 eating out and "helping" our friends with groceries for 1 week! Seriously? I spend less than $300 on groceries for a whole month! I even told him over the weekend that if he didn't stop spending money like that and putting me in a position where I can't provide for my kids then he isn't going to have kids and a wife to come home to. I just don't know what to do anymore. He actually got annoyed with me for getting mad at him for eating out! I can't keep having this argument and always be back where we started, him wasting our money and me not being able to buy things that our babies need.

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Asked by AF4life at 11:05 AM on Feb. 14, 2012 in Relationships

109759 Level 39

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Answers (18)

Okay, so let me offer some advice.

First, step back a little because you both are too emotional about this right this second to accomplish anything. You're right; you're just going to keep going in circles and that will increase your frustration level.

Once everyone has calmed down a little, go to the library and pick up a copy of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace. Let hubby know you and he are both going to spend a bit of time each day reading it together. It's a quick read and pretty common sense but what you'll end up doing in empowering you both to make these changes and establishing a partnership instead of you feeling like you're going along. Take the time because doing this now will lay the foundation for a strong financial future.

Let him know that, at the end of the book, you'd like him to decide with you who best should be the main person responsible for budget. (con't)

Answer by BrawnwynII at 11:14 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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His program helps you determine how to make decisions together on large purchases but also allows for one person to handle the day to day finance issues that come up. That would be you :)

This program really made a big difference in my life. I think it will for you guys too.

And if it doesn't, well, I have a shovel and a truck. Let me know.

Answer by BrawnwynII at 11:14 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Maybe if he won't listen to you, your Dad could stop by & have a Man to Man talk with him.

Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:08 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:06 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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I'm sorry. He needs his ass kicked, really. You have to wonder what he doesn't get, what doesn't he understand about his family coming first; minimally at least for basics. Hope somebody is able to get through to him SOON or maybe you won't be going to Japan. DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO STAY OUT OF JAIL

Side note - You had me laughing with your intro to this question...FUNNY.

Answer by meooma at 11:10 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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okay..why is he helping someone else out with groceries when he knows you guys are having problems?

Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:08 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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I'm so sorry! And, know you're stressed out even more because you have 2 mouths to feed now, plus Japan's coming up.
I think you're going to have to take over the finances. As much of an ass as my ex is, he let me do it during our marriage (after he put us $800 in the hole on month early in our marriage. And, his parents had to bail us out.)

Answer by 3libras at 11:13 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Two words! Dave Ramsey!!!!

Answer by NannyB. at 11:38 AM on Feb. 14, 2012
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He needs to stop that mess.. you and the kids come first

Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 10:54 PM on Feb. 14, 2012
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When you get back tell him he has 2 choices,, allow you to handle the money and live off a set amount each week, or have his pay garnished for alimony and child support in court.

Answer by kimigogo at 11:14 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
Credits: 62754 Level 33 Relationships Degree

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