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Father of child has child for a matter of hours ,during his visitation & claims she is haveing a hard time "going" the first try on the potty.Should there be a good reason to put on a rubber glove & remove poop from your daughters rectum? What would your reaction be if your daughters father had done this?

also we have joint custody, we both have to consult on all medicail matters..

in stead of calling me (or the pediatrician)

before hand- he did this & told me after,also claims he can & will do it again,(though II have asked him not to & so has the pediatrician)she's already in therapy for strange statments & actions after visitations..

What can or should I do??

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Asked by jellybeangreen at 1:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • My daughter has chronic constipation and from everything I've read, parents should never do this. If a child needs help going to this degree, then they need medical attention.
    If you are having continued problems with him, you should consider taking her to the doctor or hospital and getting an offical report made. Even if he's not doing something "wrong" he could do physical harm and is certainly doing mental and emotional harm.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I think it is a strange thing to do...especially if not recommended by a doctor. I would think that if nothing else, she would become more constipated because she would avoid even thinking about attempting to use the bathroom when she is with her father. I am concerned that even though you are asking him not to do it, and you say the doctor advised him not to do it, he is maintaining that he will continue to do it. I would talk to the doctor again, as well as the counselor. I would be concerned about the actions as well as his resistance to even consider changing his ways despite potential problems. Most fathers would be reluctant to do this....I would be concerned.

    Answer by BJoan at 3:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Does he know the Dr. said not to do it?? If he does know then if it were me(i may get bashed for this) I would tell him if he does it again you will call a social worker and he can have supervised visitation. She is seeing a counselor for strange statements and actions and no one has insisted on supervised visitation ?? Dont worry about him getting what you have to in order to protect your daughter.

    Answer by mbc324 at 9:22 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Contact your doctor and counselor about this behavior. You might want to consider speaking with your attorney about requiring all visits with the father to be supervised. This behavior could cause long term issues. Do you suspect any type of sexual abuse? Sometimes, constipation can be a result of this. I would definitely want this to be investigated and ruled out. What are the behaviors and statements after your child has been with the father?

    Answer by Lisahi at 9:55 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • This digital extraction should be done by a medical person. NOT an untrained father. This will scare the child and can also be considered abuse if he does it regularly or shows a pattern of doing this constantly. I wouldn't go either if i thought someone would put me through that physical scare!! Change the childs diet!!! Raisins!! Mandarin oranges!! Raisin bran cereal. No bread! Diet is the number one reason for 90% of hard stools. Then contact DCFS for help locating anyone who can help this stop. I had a hard time as a child but no one made me go through that!!! I finally got over it. That man is awful.

    Answer by divinevictory at 6:03 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My husband did do this for our daughter when she was an infant, but he was a nursing student at the time and trained in class how to do it. If it's done wrong it can cause serious, serious injury.

    By the way, if your child has a hard time going, try giving her the Activa yougart. It worked wonders for my daughter.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 8:37 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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