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My stepson hates me, what would you do?
My stepson absolutely hates me. Not only does he hate me hes just kind of a mean kid. Ive always been firm and consistent with discipline. I dont let the kids boss each other around, call names or be violent. And so im constantly getting on to him. When the other 3 are together everything is fine were one big happy family, but my stepson lies and has made me the bad guy. I no longer know what to do and i feel horrable because im really starting to not like him. Everything i do is judged and he just hates me he feels i am the reason his parents arent together. There was apoint when they were bolth single and i stepped in to the picture first. In the beginning everything was fine but now its gotten so bad we havent enjoyed a christmas in 2 years and he dosent want to come over anymore. My stepdaughter loves me so i dont know whats goin on with him. I even have child councelors in my family and everything we have tried has failed.
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Well, he obviously has some unresolved issues with the divorce which may be magnified by his age. Is he closer to being a teenager?
What is your husband doing to support you in this? Has he spoken with his son to try and determine what the deal is?Found an answer to your question?
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My husband has tried talking to him several times and he supports me fully. We are very different mothers and its not working. Anytime i dont approve of something that hismother does, he thinks im bashing her. I know better than to talk bad about her and i hold my tounge alot.
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You can't make him like you, but you still must treat him just like you treat all the others when he's in your home. Same rules apply to everyone. He won't like that either, but he still has to abide by them.Found an answer to your question?
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Right, you can't mention his mother at all. Ever, unless it is with very kind words. He's always going to be protective of her.
Maybe he'd like a break from visiting for a while. Would your husband be open to that?Found an answer to your question?
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I agree with NannyB since that would only be fair to all the kids. But if he's still young, give him time and as much space as you can. I HATED my poor stepmom when she married my dad (I was 13) even though she was such a sweet woman and didn't deserve any of it... I was pretty mean to her. She was smart and kind enough to give me space and time to deal with my issues, and when I grew up I finally got around to appologizing to her for all of that! Hopefully he will heal and will see you in a better light someday.Found an answer to your question?
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All kids are different. My sons 11 and hated his dads fiancee with a passion. He used to tell me how horrible it was to have to sit across from her and try to eat and had apparently asked her if she knew how ugly she was. He used to say many mean and nasty things about her, and blamed her for my and his dads split (and it was her fault no doubt about it). No matter what I told him about being nice helped. His dad and she have since split and my kid literally was so happy it was like someone told him they were taking him to disneyland. So idk what to tell you. You just have to endure it and accept sometimes people wont like you, that includes family, step kids etc.Found an answer to your question?
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Hes 12 now so they have given him the decision wether he comes over or not and he has chosen not to for the past 3 weeks. And see the thing is i dont bash his mom but sence we are so different and i dont approve of things that she does he thinks im bashing her.
I try very hard to treat the kids the same but i do have a 3, 5 , 10 and 12 year old. The 10 and 12 year old are my step kids, and when my 12 yearold step son is in the room its chaos. When its the 3 younger ones they can play fine. I may sound bad but my stepson dosent really get along with anyone, he dosent have many frends and gets beat up alot. Im so sad for him bcause i was bullied when i was a kid. Ive tried to connect with him and we do lots of things together we just cant get along apparently.
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If he's beaten up a lot there are bigger problems at play here. Who is his advocate for the bullying?Found an answer to your question?
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Have you asked him why he treats you this way?Found an answer to your question?
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