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How do I deal with this guy? Maybe I'm going about things wrong. I didn't want to do this alone.

Well I told my baby's father not to come see our son cause he is using drugs and was talking to an underage girl. 16 year old. I dealt with the fact he broke up with me when I was 7 months pregnant and tried to just make it about our son. When I found that out I just went off on him. I told him that he never cared about me or the baby. I called him names and it was just ugly. I never really wanted to tell him he couldn't see his son. I just wanted him to look at his actions and I wish he was the same person I thought he was. He told a mutual friend he loved his son and he quit talking to her. Do you think he hates me or will ever talk to me again? I can't hate him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If he is using and being stupid with under age girls, he has no right to be around your child! He will probably go to jail or be put on the sex offenders list if these girls or their parents press charges and then he wont be able to be alone with your child! Maybe yu should just tell him that he can see his son when he sobers up and quits being a bad influence. Do you want your child to be "accidentally" hurt by his own father because he was high and didn't know what he was doing? Good luck!
    1sttimemommy122

    Answer by 1sttimemommy122 at 1:36 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • You can get past the past, but he has to SHOW you that her has changed. You can't go off of what some mutual friend has said. You and your son deserve so much more than a life of drugs and bad decisions. So think long and hard before just letting him back in.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:52 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Who cares if HE hates YOU!? He's the one who's screwing up his life and not taking responsibility for the kid he helped make!
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 2:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I would tell him you are sorry for over reacting.. but if he loves his son, he needs to step up and be a man.. that you want a court order that he has to be clean before he can get him for visitation rights, and not to bring around underage girls, because you are not risking losing your son because his father can't follow the law. I would make arrangements for him to stop over for 3-5 hours one day a week at your house while you are there, so when you go to court to request these things, then he can't counter-suit that you are denying visitation.. if after a while he can't stay clean and wont go to rehab for his problems... then you go to court and try to dissolve his parental rights.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:16 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • by over reacting I mean the name calling and things like that.. you have every right to be mad.. but screaming and name calling is what you I mean for apologizing.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Yeah, I can see the attraction......oh wait.

    I do not care how hot a guy is, what a good kisser the guy is, what an adorable pouty face the guy makes.....you are a PARENT now and you have got to move past the druggie creepy pedofile.

    Concentrate on yourself, your child, your schooling first. Then worry about creepazoid.

    (And where are HIS parents anyway? Do they know he's cruising the driver's ed crowd?)
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:20 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • He will be a part of your baby's life for 18 years. Give him a chance. The flesh is weak, esp. when your so is pregnant. Give him a pass or at least a chance to be with your precious baby.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 11:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • do i think that you were right in tellin ghim he can't be around your son? yes. absolutely. The flesh may be weak, but when it comes to drugs..that weak flesh can harm more than the body it's hanging on.
    forget the underage girls, it's stupid and he could get into a lot of trouble, but unless he's giving small children candy if the go into a dark room with him, your LO would be okay.
    However, you should apologize for calling him names-that was a bit much.
    TempestRayne

    Answer by TempestRayne at 4:05 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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