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What would you do?

Okay, so my daughter's grandmother was out of town for two weeks during x-mas and her bday, and when she came back 2 weeks ago she said she wanted to take my daughter over night last weekend... so I said that was fine... well since she was going to her grandmothers over night.. I made plans to go out. Well I get there to drop her off and grandmother isn't there... she blew me off, and called me monday, saying she was sorry and would definately take her this saturday (tonight)... yeah well I called thursday to confirm this, and she was still saying she would take her over night.. and yesterday when her father stopped by to see her he said she said the same thing that morning... we agreed on 5:30pm so I get there tonight, and of course, she's not there. I'm so angry.. cont.


Asked by xxhazeldovexx at 3:05 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 34 (67,320 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I agree. If you were feeling spiteful, you could tell your you don't approve of leaving your daughter with someone so unreliable. But if you are hoping for a decent resolution, probably just as simple ... "No, I don't think that's a good idea this week, but you are welcome to come over to our place!" would be best.

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 3:24 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • my daughter and her use to be so close before her grandma went on vacation, and now I don't know what do to... I don't want to go over there again just to get blown off again... I really want to just tell her if she calls asking to take her next weekend.. that me and DD have plans, but she is welcome to stop over... basically saying you can come see her on your own time, because I'm sick of wasting time and money when me and DD are going to get blown off. What would you say to her, or do?

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 3:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Sound like you need to quit making arrangements for your kiddo to go over there. At least for a while. Maybe make other arrangements.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 3:07 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I think telling her to come by is a good idea. Sooner or later, she's bound to see that she made a mistake.

    Answer by jdrae13 at 3:09 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Stop taking her. If she wants to see her, then she needs to show it by coming by. If she says she wants her for a weekend, then ask what time will she be by to get her. This way your daughter won't get her hopes up and then be disappointed again.Its your daughter you have to worry about and how she feels, not the grandma.

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:43 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Why did she ask in the first place? Were you complaining about her missing your daughters birthday? She may have said it just to shut you up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Wow anon. I would ask you to please try to tell me that wasn't meant to be as b*tchy as it sounds, but since you posted anon I'm guessing that's exactly how you meant it.

    In the end, it doesn't matter WHY the woman said that she'd take the baby. What matters is that she DID say it. Twice. And didn't show up.

    And no grandmother should ever say that they will spend time with their grandbabies "just to shut her up"

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 8:56 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • well, i don't know whether anon was being bitchy or not, but yes, some people do say things just to shut other people up, or to make themselves feel better for offering. my son's gma says this crap all the time, but is never available, not just for overnights, but for here/there afternoons, etc. she even insisted on being listed on his daycare's 'call list', but she's never accepted their calls..not that he's been sick that often, but dang! don't say it if you don't mean it! if i were you, hazeldove, i'd stop planning on her words/promises, and live life without her. i mean, don't worry about her, and how she will screw things up for not 'remembering'..just forget her, as far as a 'sitter' is concerned. she's unreliable for some reason...i wouldn't want my child with an unreliable person, would u?

    Answer by thehairnazi at 9:13 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I would tell her when she wants to take her for a visit (whether it's for a few hours or over night) to come by and pick her up. I got tired of my SIL doing that to my kids and to me. I decided that I'd not tell my kids "she's coming to get you for however long", instead I just let her show up so the child wouldn't sit there crying wondering why she wasn't there yet. Then when she'd tell the kid herself I had to go thru it again and just told the child the truth, "she says she's gonna do it but don't look for her till you see her drive up because plans change quick for her and she forgets that she told you".

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • well thank you ladies for all your response. . for the record I didn't complain about the b-day or x-mas with her, because I know she went to florida to see her other granddaughter.... I am mad now, that since she got back, she made no effort at all to want to be with her.. no b-day present, no x-mas present... etc. I haven't voiced anything to her yet because I was hoping that she would come around. Like I said, they had a great relationship before she left, and now it's like she doesn't want anything to do with her. My daughters one.. so she doesn't really understand that she was blown off. But I definately don't want to act like it was okay, because when she is older I know she will be hurt by it. but again, thank you all for yourresponses

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:18 AM on Jan. 18, 2009