So not what I expected for V-Day... A little upset and hurt...

We have kids and we found a nanny but he said, let's stay in because your B-Day is this weekend. I'll cook for you, spend time together, have a good time at home together. I said OK!
I got him a flat screen TV, card, dipped strawberries, went out of my way all day ! He also surprised me with a lot of things which was cute!
He didn't cook, we didn't do anything and now he's sitting here on his laptop watching the lakers game. Our show came on which i thought we would be watching our show in our bedroom on our new TV. He says, oh sweetie, our show is on, you ready? I said, r u done with ur game on your laptop, he says no, but i am watching.... Do you mind honey? I of course said NO!
I have yet to give him his card or the dipped strawberries yet and don't think I even going to....
This is not what i had in mind... I am sad, hurt and disapointed.

What should i do? Say something??? Blurt it out that this is not how i wanted V-Day to go?
He talked me into staying home, and here we are! Doing NOTHING!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Feb. 14, 2012 in Relationships

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Answers (17)

It's one day out of a lifetime of days together, if you are lucky enough to spend them together. Trust me, in five years, you will not remember this, nor will he. Let it go. There are so many other things to be happy and thankful for. Celebrating a Hallmark Holiday does nothing for me. It doesn't prove that my husband loves me any more than I know he does. It wouldn't change my mind about how I feel about him or our relationship if he bought me a card, flowers, or even diamonds...I don't care. If I want something, I can go buy it myself. Please don't let something as trivial as this day come between you and your relationship.

Answer by m-avi at 11:43 PM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Some people like Valentine's Day and that is their right. You are one of them. Tell him you're disappointed and get it on the table. Maybe you can save the rest of the night.

Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:48 PM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Men do not read minds. You need to speak up. Calmly tell him how you feel and what you did have in mind.

Answer by But_Mommie at 11:56 PM on Feb. 14, 2012
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Look at it this way ... you got to spend time with him unlike the many thousands of spouses sitting here while their love is in a foreign country putting their lives on the line. Or the cops spouses sitting at home praying they come home safe.

It's all about perspective. So, ask yourself ...

1/2 full: he bought you something and you spent the evening together so you are going to get the strawberries and have a little extra fun

or

1/2 empty: you didn't get exactly what you wanted so you are going to pout about it and spoil the rest of the night yourself

Your choice.

Answer by SpiritedWitch at 1:07 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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When will build up expectations we set ourselves up to be disappointed. He remembered and got you some cute things. You were the one that opened the out for him when he said your show was on. You could have said great let's go cuddle and watch it together. But you set him up by making it seem as though you were just as happy with him staying where he was.
Try not to build up such big expectations. No one can live up to them. You will be happier and so will everyone around you.

My DH and I always stay in and I cook a fabulous dinner for 2. At 5 he called to say he was stuck at work and would be at least 3 more hours. He told me to go ahead and eat and he would be there as soon as he could. I waited. He called and said he was leaving and I started dinner. He enjoyed it but he was so tired he just wanted to go to bed. It happens There are other nights our 35th is in 5 days.

Answer by Dardenella at 12:15 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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Valentines is not important to me, its really just another day for us, my husband did buy me flowers though, first time in 12 years of being together LOL it was sweet cause neither of us are overly romantic, so he really made an effort. I think every day is important, however we are talking about you here and it is important to you, the problem is your not being honest when he asks you how you feel about it, and you say your ok with it.........tell him no I am not ok with it I want to spend time together, you have to speak up, maybe the answer was to turn all the electronic devices off, why dont you do it over tomorrow night it doesnt have to be the 14th of Feb to have a special night together....

Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:23 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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Wow....this is why I don like V day....it's material crap that can really be done any day of the year...my husband runs a restaurant so obviously I haven't seen him on valentines day is probably a decade....we got our daughter a few little things but honestly, there is WAY too much pressure on this "holiday"....I even joke with my husband that he should be thankful I don't wear jewelry, we can't have flowers in the house cuz the cats will eat them and get sick and I can buy chocolate whenever I want. I really wouldn't let it get to u that badly...guys don't think the same way women do about stuff like that. It's not worth it in my opinion.

Answer by calliesmommie at 2:43 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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wow...I'm not sure what to say- it sounds like he put more effort into it than my hubby EVER does.
Valentines day is so reduculous. seriously. A day for men to have to give things to their women to keep them happy?!
I dunno...I think people have way too many expectations for it and it in turn makes them unhappy when those aren't met.
It's your choice to be upset or not

Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:27 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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I know what you mean but it's this one day out of the whole year that he can leave his laptop, the tv and do something fun.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Feb. 14, 2012
Thats more than what I got lol. We didnt even spend anytime together or give each other anything. We both work nights(12-5 am) I went to bed around 9 am and Dh stayed up all day and didnt go to bed till I woke up.

Answer by Lobelia at 12:28 AM on Feb. 15, 2012
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