Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Opinion needed! thanks

ex MIL says i shouldn't even need to worry or question about where the children are and who they are with on the weekend ( their daddy time). He is used to pick up the children a hour or 2 late, and a day late. Now he always has excuses not to pick up the children. It just because his mother (ex MIL) says i am here for them, you do what you plan to do.

MIL thinks i have not a right to ask about and tell her son " get it right" with the children's time. The boys are off my back , and i dont' have to do anything with them on the weekend( which i only have 4 hours to sleep between work and back to weekday's schedule), so it is not my business to care.

Not fair to the boys, and not fair to me. ( i dont' receive child support, and the $100 health insurance for the boys are 5 months behind. )

What do you all think ? i should call for a meeting or shut up?


Answer Question

Asked by yoshiki56 at 9:12 AM on Jan. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Call for the meeting, I'd I think your MIL is way OUT OF LINE. Those kids are always your business no matter what and you are being a good mother. I would also look into legal issues with the non-payment of support.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:15 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Ex MIL has NO business telling YOU nothing!! Call for a meeting!! IF dad can't be on time to get his kids, then the kids wouldn't be there for him to pick up. Especially if he isn't paying any child support!!

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 9:31 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I agree with the other two. You may also have to go back to court and have his visitation and child support revised.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Go to court. If he's not following through on anything court ordered, you can file contempt charges. Talk to your lawyer.

    And ignore MIL.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:23 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • As far as him not paying child support and not sticking to the agreed upon pick up times, you need to take him back to court.

    Your MIL is right about one thing, though: what he does with the kids and where he takes them when it's his visiting time is none of your business and he's not obligated to tell you about it at all.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:47 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Go back to court, first of all I would tell your MIL to mind her own business they are your kids and you have the right to know. If he is going to be late then I wouldn't let him have the kids.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:33 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • i would go back to court, or set up a meeting or something! theyre your children of course its your business!!! you have a right to know where they are at all times, especially being that young!! theyre pretty much helpless. and if dads not really showing to much that he cares, well, thats an unstable, unfit parent figure right there, who doesnt deserve to have that time with them, without supervision.

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:55 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Ex MIL needs to mind her own business and as far as your ex being late tell him that starting next weekend if he is more than 15 minutes late without calling the kids wont be there for him to pick up. And it is your concern where your children are at only if you think they are in danger or at risk what I mean is if dad takes them to the mall when he told you they were going to Walmart so what but if he is taking them to inappropriate places then it is your business.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 3:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I get the impression that you take them to MIL's and then dad goes from there. If its that he's supposed to get them from you and you end up waiting for him -- then yeah its your business and i'd stop it now. but if its that he goes and gets them at grandma's then let it be. They are getting family time (and that is part of dad time-- his side of the family) as long as they are in a safe environment somewhere you were okay with them being b/f then stay out of it.
    Keep the battles for the big stuff. His relationship with his kids is his buisness, this is a time where if you can't say anything nice say nothing is REALLY TRUE.
    They are okay, you go ahead with your stuff and let him deal with the consequences that will occur later on as the kids begin to get mad he's not spending time with them. And if they complain to you tell them to talk to their dad that its an issue b/w them. (and yes I even tell my 4 yr old that)

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • First of all, I think your exMIL needs to back off. They are not her kids, this should be between you and the father. I would go back to court regarding the support, etc. And let the court know that he is not showing up on time for his visitation and see what can be changed. I thought my sister told me that if the parent doesn't show on time, they don't get to take the kids. But maybe that's different in different places? Or I could be wrong completely! You definately need to talk all of this over with your ex. Good luck.

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 2:12 AM on Jan. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.