Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What can I do for him?

A few days after Easter my grandmother passed away. It was very sudden and without warning. One day she was alive and well, the next she was gone. It hit our family pretty hard. My grandfather took it the hardest naturally. They were very much in love and had been married for 56 years.

Today is their wedding anniversary. My grandfather is so depressed. His health hasn't been the best since my grandmother died.

I want to do something for him. We're all having dinner at my mom's tonight so he doesn't have to face the day alone. I talked with him for a long time on the phone last night.

Is there anything I can do to help him through this? I love him and it pains me to see him so depressed.

 
amethystrse

Asked by amethystrse at 1:39 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (13 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think just being there for them goes a long way. My grandpa also died suddenly and I remember it being so hard for my grandma. Theyd been married around 50 yrs too. We kept her company and did things with her so she didnt feel alone all the time. It helped her alot. She died in 2002 and my grandpa had been dead around 20 yrs. Its hard for them to get over but with love and support they can. I used to just pick her up and take her shopping, to lunch, make sure she had plenty of pics of the kids, spent time with her great grandkids etc.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:04 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • My condolenses to you and your family.sad


    Just be with him and continueing doing what you do to make him feel like someone will always be there for him, he does not have to face this alone. God Bless him. It is just part of life but it hurts I know. Take Care

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:46 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Find him a friend, my grandpa was pretty much in the same boat. We found him some friends his age and it seems to help a little.
    smnice

    Answer by smnice at 1:48 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Why don't you hire him a caregiver for a while most elderly do because I do that .I am a caregiver for a family a husband and wife private pay and you can also takr him to the senior center also .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Talk to him about your grandmother..... help him to voice those memories that he cherishes. We can all sit with someone in mourning.... but it's a greater calling to call them out of the mourning into the light where memories live and love and laughter still reside. I'm sorry.... this one has brought me to tears. Just talk about her, about how she did this and did that, and get him talking too. Laugh about the things about her that made you laugh, ask questions and let him talk.... and watch as the memories of her brings the life of his love for her back . I learned a long time ago, it's not the death of the person that continues to break our heart.... it's the death of the love we have for them because we so often do know how to keep loving someone who's gone. And that creates the greatest mourning of all. The best and only way to keep that love alive... it to let it live through spoken memory.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 3:29 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Giving him your time, attention, your ear and your presence sounds just right. He will go through these feelings and you won't be able to help him do it. Unfortunately, depression and ill health following the death of a spouse is common in that age group. Be sure a physician sees him regularly and to evaluate him for depression. If he will talk to a counselor and/or would benefit from a companion, get him one.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 4:00 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • its pretty simple...just hold his hand. talk to him and be his friend. something that i found that helps someone who is morining the loss of a beloved one is to remind them and encourage them to talk about the funny things and the fun times that they had with that person.
    I know that you will be a comfort to him, you have a heart of gold. You are a comfort to me and i only know you from online.
    much love and hugs!!!
    MyLinna

    Answer by MyLinna at 11:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2009