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SAHM?

I understand some of you like to be home with your children 24\7. The questions I have is what will happen to your life if your DH lost his job? How about if there was an accident and he isn't here to take care of the bills anymore? How will you make it? Is it hard to live with one pay check coming in? Wouldn't it be nice to have your own money? Do you feel mothers who work outside the home are less of parents or don't love their kids as much? Do you have anything as a back up plan if DH decided he wanted someone else?
Please no bashing. I don't know any personal SAHM where I am. All of my friends work full time along with family members. Several of my friends and family also has disabilities working fultime. I really would like the answers to get a better idea of different views on this topic.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • I am a SAHM and have worked and stayed home. Its actually no different then moms who choose to work in my eyes because if you got hurt, lost your job etc you would feel the pinch right? In my case we save money, have retirement, savings etc so if my dh loses his job we have recourses and back up. My dh did lose his job in June and we were fine. He started a new one at the first of the yr.
    We make it fine with one income coming in. Its what were used to. My husband earns enough money so I dont see how its anyones business how we live. As for my own money. Again I worked too so I have savings and I have my own money I can spend AND it isnt MY or HIS money it is OUR money. Its a partnership.
    Do I look down on moms who work? Not the ones who HAVE TO. I have HAD TO. If you dont have to though I dont see why you should work and have someone else raise your child.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I am a stay at home mom. No it's not hard with only one paycheck my husband makes good money. If he was ever injured we would have workmens comp or whatever until i started working or whatever needed to happen i am not worried about him leaving me for someone else we have been together for 5 years and been through more shit than most people do their entire lifes. So if we were going to break up or divorce it would have happened along time ago plus i am not worried about him losing his job he works his ass off and there will always be a need for him.
    teresalangston

    Answer by teresalangston at 2:19 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'm answering just based on my situation.



    I understand some of you like to be home with your children 24\7. The questions I have is what will happen to your life if your DH lost his job?
    He'd probably start working FT at his PT job. Or I'd get a job. Same as if we didn't have kids, or if I didn't stay home.


    How about if there was an accident and he isn't here to take care of the bills anymore? How will you make it?
    Then I'd get a job.

    Do you have anything as a back up plan if DH decided he wanted someone else?
    No. Do you?

    Please no bashing. I don't know any personal SAHM where I am. All of my friends work full time along with family members. Several of my friends and family also has disabilities working fultime. I really would like the answers to get a better idea of different views on this topic.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2009



  • Is it hard to live with one pay check coming in?
    A bit.

    Wouldn't it be nice to have your own money?
    Yes, but I enjoy being home with the kids, so I sacrifice having my own mad money for that.

    Do you feel mothers who work outside the home are less of parents or don't love their kids as much?
    Absolutely not.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 2:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • PS yep on the leaving. I dont worry about mine leaving. We have been through alot and if he chose to leave again no big deal. I can work and Id get alimony and child support.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:21 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • As for if i want my own money? It's Our money we're married whats mine is his and whats his is mine plus just because we don't get paid doesn't mean we don't work. I take care of my son , clean the house, and have a hot meal ready for when my husband gets home. I don't look down on women who work but i do think women who work look down on us stay at home moms
    teresalangston

    Answer by teresalangston at 2:22 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I am a SAHM- I am currently in school full time also online so I am working for something also. My husband is in the Army so I don't have to worry about him losing his job or anything. It is not his money that is brought into the household. It is our family's money. He works very hard doing what he does and I work very hard to maintain the household and the children especially when, like now, he is deployed.
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 2:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'll take a stab at this one...
    If DH lost his job ( unlikely though) we'd be fine.. we have a very large savings and I do have a college degree and could work if necessary..
    #2- I am a Chef turned SAHM, so I could work, no problem or open my own bakery ( my dream)
    #3 we do have life insurance, savings, IRAs, 401K, et... and I'd work...
    #4- nope, dh makes over 100K annually
    #5-I have my "own" money... no problems, besides we don't view it as his and hers..it's ours.
    #6-Nope
    #7- well, if he decided that after all that we've been through in 17 years together, we would be ok...the girls and I would survive..

    I became a SAHM when we adopted our daughter. We felt like it was better for me to be home with her and foster a bond rather than adopt and then immediately put her in daycare with more strangers. Now, we have 2 kiddos and I love being home with them...I prefer it to spending 20 hours in a kitchen...
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 2:27 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • is what will happen to your life if your DH lost his job? We would apply for assistance (unemployment, food stamps, WIC, etc) immediately and he would start looking for another job. In the meantime, I would try for something around here (it would be minimum wage) to help get us by.

    How about if there was an accident and he isn't here to take care of the bills anymore? How will you make it? Based on what we have right now, if he died I would be able to continue as we are right now for probably about 4 years....long enough for the boys to all be in school and I could then try to finish my degree and find gainful employment.

    Is it hard to live with one pay check coming in? Hard? I can't say. It's the only way we've been. If I were to start working, I would barely make enough to pay for daycare....so it's actually easier I guess.

    .
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 2:36 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • Had to split my answer because of the STUPID LIMITATIONS.

    Wouldn't it be nice to have your own money? "My own money"? The money he brings in is OURS. There is no "his" and "mine"...nor would there be should I start working. We are a partnership.

    Do you feel mothers who work outside the home are less of parents or don't love their kids as much? Oh HELL NO!! That's just wrong to even think that...let alone to say it!!

    Do you have anything as a back up plan if DH decided he wanted someone else? No, because to do so would be the same as saying that your marriage isn't going to last, that it's temporary. I didn't enter into this partnership lightly, and refuse to consider such a lack of trust in my husband
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 2:36 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

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