What do you think? Divorce

My husband wants a Divorce and moved out it's been 2 1/2 weeks now. We have lots of issues to deal with. We are both in independent counseling and counseling with a Chaplin who wants to try and strengthen our marriage and doesn't advocate divorce. My husband doesn't like putting labels on the counseling, and still wants a Divorce. I want to give it a try and see if we can save our family. He wants to get everything out.. I'm giving him his space and hoping for the best. Any thoughts..

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Feb. 16, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (13)

Honestly if he's so dead set on a divorce then I really don't see a reconciliation happening, sorry.

Answer by 3libras at 6:08 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
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I agree with 3libras. If he isn't open to getting back together, counseling won't help. Sorry!

Answer by layh41407 at 6:09 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
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how old r u guys? do u know if there is another one? i know in this time u r passing through a lot of stress and grief . but be patient and look for wat happened that led u to divorce guys. dont make stress destroy u. life will still go on with him or with other . stay a little away from him . but u have to stay with friends an d family . and think positive that god gave u this soul and body to take care of it and enjoy it and not to dedicated for some one who doesn't deserve u or can make u sick . u dont belong only for him . ur health belongs to u .

Answer by mamishad at 6:15 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
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Counseling is only effective if both parties are committed to it and invested in the process. If he is this sure that he wants a divorce then I would start preparing myself for the eventuality.

Answer by BrawnwynII at 6:16 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
Credits: 70625 Level 35 Relationships Minor

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I'm confused with why people say there is no hope for her. Why would he go to counseling if he is sure what he wanted? How often do you go? what is he struggling with? All those thing come into play. stay strong.

Answer by Mom2princessq at 6:40 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
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You can't really control what he does, but you can continue to go to counseling and work on your own issues. If your husband sees that you are serious about that, he may change his mind. What often happens in these situations is that husbands feel like all the blame is being placed on themselves and they are therefore unwilling to take full responsibilities. If you tell him that you know you have made mistakes and are willing to work on correcting them, it could give him the incentive he needs to try, as well. For me, it would be worth the investment. We all bring a lot of baggage to marriage and sometimes, we need help in getting rid of it. Sounds like the chaplain is on the side of saving the marriage, so it will be 2 against 1. It could be enough to gain a positive outcome.

Answer by NannyB. at 7:13 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
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We are both 30 he says he loves me as the mother of his child but he's not in love with me. As far as I know there's no one else.

He left me before thanksgiving and came back. Then left me again when we had an agreement and I told him "if he is not happy to pack his bag and leave" The next day he did.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
wat happened that led u to divorce guys" I accused him regularly of touching our daughter. I was molested and forced to give my father Bj's from the age 6 to9. I know I have issues. When I was pregnant and he was deployed to Iraq I was under alot of stress. He would call home I would sometimes say I would take our baby and not let him see her.

I'm pregnant now found out a week after he left and he wants nothing to do with the baby. He would like me to get a abortion I said no. He says he will provide for the baby when it's born, but he just can't deal with the pregnancy because of what I put him through in the past with our daughter.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
He has been under alot of stress at work and is having some sort of breakdown. He did tell the Chaplin that divorce has been in the back of his mind for awhile, and he just wants to be happy. he has mentioned it to me before and he goes back and forth. Knowing what he wants and not knowing, it's very frustrating for me.

We have to be seprated for a year before the D, and he wants to do the counseling once a week indefinatly so that's where we are at the moment.

Thanks for the input.

Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Feb. 16, 2012
Hang in there!

Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2012

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