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How can you explain LOVE to a 20 some year old?

I had thought that my stepchildren all knew that the Love of Christ stays with you to make you a better person. ( To follow Christ/ in a likeness ).
And that Marriage was included and that Loving some one meant at times you disagreed ( Agree to disagree style.) But still Love that person and pray for it to get better for you both. But it appears in their late 20's such truly awful things are said (after 17 years marriage & financer to all needs)).
It appears my Husband and I are pushed to shut the door on anger. Because now it seems that their hurtful past all of a sudden is just US who did anything.
This is 2 years after a letter saying we were sorry about anything done (but we were human) and we love them and go from here. ( No serious or sexual abuse or mental games)2 years later we get an "I hate you letter. From no where.????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Jan. 18, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (4)
  • Its the age. Dont let it get to you. Just continue to be a positive influence and love them despite it. Eventually theyll come around.

    Answer by gemgem at 3:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2009

  • I'm 23, married, a mother, a home owner, a college graduate and have a great relationship with my parents. We're not all immature, inconsiderate and irresponsible so I hope posters here won't post bashing us in the "20's" crowd lol. A different form of communication is needed when speaking to your adult children vs. your little children. Us 20 somethings go through a lot of transitions, have new ideas thrown at us at work and college and have a lot of growing up to do in a short period if time. A lashing out "I hate you letter" might just be a response to "life in general" aimed towards their parents whom they are comfortable being so raw emotionally with. Attempting to over-lecture a 20 year old who is trying to figure out adulthood, learn their own thoughts on love and religion and learn independence is only going to anger and alienate them more. this too shall pass.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 9:56 PM on Jan. 19, 2009

  • I don't understand what there a history here? Have you tried talking to this child?

    Answer by BJoan at 9:21 AM on Jan. 21, 2009

  •  I agree totally with novemberlove, A twenty something  who is not only over lectured, but has YOUR beliefs stuffed down their throat, is a very angry twenty something. They are adults who ,like every one of us make mistakes. I'm not sure if you are referring to the Bible? Do they not believe as you do? Why would you want them to? They need to be let go,My parents were happy that I was a different person than then.


    Answer by jblueeyes228 at 3:24 PM on Jan. 23, 2009

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