Answers Ask a Question
- New & Interesting
-
Parenting Questions
- • General Parenting
- • Babies
- • Toddlers
- • Preschoolers
- • School-Age Kids
- • Tweens
- • Teens
- • Adult Kids
-
Life & Home Questions
- • Beauty & Style
- • Buying a Home
- • Diet & Fitness
- • Entertainment
- • Food & Drink
- • Health
- • Hobbies & Crafts
- • Holidays
- • Home & Garden
- • Military
- • Money & Work
- • Pets
- • Relationships
- • Religion & Beliefs
- • Shopping
- • Technology
- • Travel
- • About CafeMom
- Debate Questions
- Fun and Games
-
Encyclopedia
- • Parenting
- • Life & Home
- • All Topics
DH out drinking AGAIN, won't answer calls or texts.. 
We just got back together after a 9 month split from march-november.. Ever since we've gotten back together, he said he had quit drinking, which lasted a whole two weeks and then he was back to drinking 5 out of 7 days a week. We don't live together. He goes out to the bar a few times a week, but the thing is, he just goes and doesn't mention it, won't answer his cell or any text I send him.. Then shows up at my house between 3-6am completely drunk and passes out. If I ask him where he was or who he was with he just ignores me, or laughs at me? And Ive asked him many times to stop doing this, but he just keeps on. What am I supposed to think? I have been trying so hard to make things work this time, since we were together for 7 years and have a 3 year old son together, but he just doesnt seem to be willing to change his ways? He says he is just used to being single now but he does want to be with me.. What can I do? Its hurting me so bad, and hurts more knowing that he knows that but doesnt care. I want to make things work but I seem to be the only one even trying..?
Answer Question- SHARE THIS QUESTION:
-
Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Feb. 17, 2012 in Relationships
-
although I realize drinking is a disease, and its hard to not love someone- why do you let him in when he shows up? If he isnt willing to treat his illness then no he doesnt care about you all. STOP enabling him and stay out of the toxic relationship- you stopped for months time to do it forever.Found an answer to your question?
Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Feb. 17, 2012
Like us on Facebook! -
If I dont let him in he just CONTINUESLY bangs on the door, and I dont want him disturbing my neighbors.. :/
Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:34 AM on Feb. 17, 2012
-
I would call the police to be honest. He either needs a WAKE up call or a restraining order. I am sorry you are dealing with this but its not healthy for any of you especially your kids. :(Found an answer to your question?
Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Feb. 17, 2012
Like us on Facebook! -
You need to stop seeing him. Contact an attorney and set up visitation & child support.Found an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
Well OP, as for the RO, it can't happen unless he is being a danger to you and/your kids. But other then, I admire you for wanting to save your marriage, but unless he wants to admit he has a problem, and he wants help, you CAN"T make him change no matter how hard you pray or how long you pray. Its been my unfortunate learning lesson you can't help those who refuse to admit they have a problem. And sometimes in the end, it doesn't often have a happy ending. Its take 2 people to make any relationship work. You have to get brutally honest with him, no ultimatums, that just works the exact opposite in my experience. The next time he is sober, or make him sit down and drink some coffee, even if you have to throw the pot at him, make him listen. Then go to your neighbors, bake them cookies if you have to, and explain as much details your are comfortable with>>>Found an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
>>that you and your DH are having problems and that you are working it out, but when he gets there, he is drunk and you do not wish him in your home at that time. Reassure them he isn't any danger to you or the kids or anyone else. When he says "He says he is just used to being single now but he does want to be with me.. " is he drunk when he says it? It not an excuse by any means, but if he is drunk, does he remember that he said that? My ex drank a lot, and had memory black outs, and he would say mean and awful things to me, but he thinks I was probably overly sensitive. So I went and bought a voice recorder for the next time, and about a few nights later he was drunk as all get out, and he started name calling. I let him listen to what he said, and to his credit, he so ashamed of himself, and about 3 months later he sought help, but by then, I was done with it. I only had 2 or so yrs invested into it, and no kids.Found an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
You are making this man a priority and he only sees you as an option.
It's called 911. "My drunk ex-husband is pounding on my door and I want him gone."
Found an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
Time to move on... One man's loss is another man's gain... Know your worthFound an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
i agree with Patrygalanne and ChristinkieFound an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook! -
You need to cut your ties with him.. he needs is pretty much trying to give you a way out too... I'm really sorry your going through this and it's easier said then done... but you don't want your son to grow up thinking that this is normal.. show him that mommy is strong enough on her own..Found an answer to your question?
Like us on Facebook!
Next question in Relationships
Do you get along with your mil ?
Next question overall
(Food & Drink)
Prob the dumbist thing Eva lol :) but im dead serious idk how to make it :)
Recently Bumped in Life & Home
2 years and still not diagnosed with anything???? 23 yrs old
Videos
Emma Lives with Severe Food Allergies
Our Special Life
Emma is allergic to every major food allergen, except for wheat. She is so allergic to dairy that if milk spills on her, she will have a reaction on her skin! In this episode, learn how she and her family (and even their friends) adjust their lives to keep her safe.
Watch More Videos from CafeMom Studios ››